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What does the fear of being judged by others hold you back from doing that you would otherwise do? (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Thorny_Thicket@sopuli.xyz to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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To be fair I still do these things but only when I'm alone.

Personally I love finding big puddles and then dig drains with a stick or my heel and watch the water flow.

Also love to throw a piece of wood into water and then toss stones high up in the air and try hit it imagining it's a warship I'm trying to bomb.

Then also without going into details there are some pieces of clothing I would like to wear but don't because they're considered femine or gay.

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[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sh.itjust.works 46 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Because when I do what I want, I get called a "retard" or asked "what the fuck are you doing?" by the people around me. I make a point to try to do things quietly (stopping to observe a cool bug, making chalk drawings on the sidewalk, saying "wheee!" on the swings, etc.), but it really doesn't matter.

I've caught glimpses of people filming me before, so I now only do what I want in privacy.

Also doesn't help that I've been accused of "doing it for attention." Nah, my dude, pretty sure I'm just fckin' autistic.

I only want people to leave me alone now. I don't like having to justify my actions when I'm just trying to enjoy myself.

[–] CloverSi@lemmy.comfysnug.space 9 points 1 year ago

I hate this so much. People should be free to act like they want (as long as it doesn't hurt anyone), because why the hell not? What's so objectively better about acting in the 'normal' way? But everything outside the very narrow idea of normal is treated like a problem by default.

I have some tics that come out when I'm alone that I've filtered out around others as long as I can remember, and honestly I think that's part of why I feel so claustrophobic in social situations. I don't even know how to act like 'myself' in public if I want to.

Seeing people being themselves regardless of how it looks to the current typical sensibilities is the only thing that lets me feel like I might be able to do the same. So fwiw, every little bit of rule breaking you have done or will do makes the world a little better for me, and anyone else who doesn't feel welcome. Thanks.

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