this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2023
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Men's Liberation

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[–] spaduf 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (8 children)

Is your point just that most of those bad actors are women? I think we are in agreement on this fact. That's what makes the polling data interesting, that the popular demographics do not necessarily match the demographics of the talking heads.

[–] CrypticCoffee@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (7 children)

I'm not going to simplify it's just women. There are a number of high profile anti-trans women campaigners that are absolutely a problem. With that, I'm sure there are many male public figures who are just as toxic.

I think it's very easy to assume a lot of this comes from bad intentions, and some of it will. I think some of this may be somewhat innocent, but ultimately unhelpful. For example, cis males may be protective of their partners and daughters, and may be concerned because the risks have often been misrepresented, for example in the case of bathroom sharing. Obviously this is paternalistic, and many would construe this as patronising. Many women are confident and don't see that issue, and don't feel they need that protection. My feeling is part of this may come from a good place, intentions wise, but be completely misguided, and open to negative influence from people who are peddling negative and toxic views. I think this problem is quite complex, and as a result any one single approach will not work to solve the problem.

Edit: I noticed my other post got deleted. It seems ok to insinuate something about my motives, but when I reasonably respond and ask them same question, it's censored and mod powers are used without hesitation. I don't think rich debate can be had here and it's not a place I want to be part of.

[–] spaduf -1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

I think this is a solid comment with a lot of insight. Thank you for sharing. You absolutely could have lead with this and it would have been the most well thought out and intentioned top level comment here.

Edit: It is worth noting however that the reasons you've listed are exactly why it's important to flip the traditional terf narrative on it's head. By claiming they are protecting women's rights and spaces they are able to convince a large number of likely well intentioned men of hateful ideas. It is useful to point out that women as a demographic largely disagree so as to help them see the errors in that line of thinking.

[–] CrypticCoffee@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"You absolutely could have lead with this". You respond to the quality of information you get. The headline was clickbait rubbish, and yes it is triggering (because it is laced in prejudice). I think one of the worse problems as a man, is you're regularly blamed for the sins of all other men, even if you are absolutely opposed to that. Being stereotyped based on your gender is not fun, and I think everyone needs to move away from that.

I think if you wanted to discuss the contents of it, you were better off changing the title and warning of the clickbaity cheap title. High brow titles don't usually warrant low brow and nuanced responses.

[–] spaduf 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

you were better off changing the title and warning of the clickbaity cheap title

This is good feedback. I do hem and haw over titles quite a bit. I tend to worry that if I change them too much I will be accused of misleading folks. At the same time, I think you're laying it on a little thick about the title. "[Demographic] drives [trend]" is a very normal headline and does not need to be taken as a personal attack. I will absolutely grant that those titles nearly always require qualification but I had hoped that this community would be exactly the sort of place where the contents of the comments could provide the depth and context the article needs to be useful in a broader discussion on masculinity.

[–] CrypticCoffee@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I appreciate you took that feedback on board.

It may be a very normal headline, but it is pretty inaccurate. An accurate title would be "anti-trans sentiment high, but higher amongst cis-males". Even "anti-trans sentiment higher amongst cis-males" would be less galling.

"driving" "hostility" implies that cis men are actively pushing to make it worse. If anything, right-wingers pushing culture wars are driving it. Maybe men are falling for those tricks more.

If the community is growing, many will not know much about past content or the purpose of the community and any new post could be a first impression. Assuming past knowledge isn't always a good idea.

[–] spaduf 4 points 1 year ago

These are good suggestions. I'll edit the title of the post.

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