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The points I made should not be used instead of all other security precautions like prohibited password login, fail2ban and updates, I thought that is common knowledge. It's additional steps to increase security.
I disagree that changing the port is just security by obscurity. Scanning ips on port 22 is a lot easier than probing thousands of ports for every IP.
The reason people do automated exploit attempts on port 22 is because it is fast, cheap and effective. By changing the port you avoid these automated scans. I agree with you, this does not help if someone knows your IP and is targeting you specifically. But if you're such a valuable target you hopefully have specialized people protecting your IT infrastructure.
Edit: as soon as your sshd answers on port 22, a potential attacker knows that the IP is currently in use and might try to penetrate. As stated above, this information would most likely not be shared with the automated attacks if you used any random port.
If you do not neglect updates, then by all mean, changing ports does not hurt. :) Sorry if I may have strong reaction on that, but I've seen way too many people in the past couple decades counting on such anecdotal measures and not doing the obvious. I've seen companies doing that. I've seen one changing ports, forcing us to use the company certificate to log in, and then not update their servers in 6 months. I've seen sysadmins who considered that rotating servers every year made it useless to update them, but employees should all use Jumpcloud "for security reasons"! Beware, though, mentioning port changing without saying it's anecdotal and the most important thing is updates, because it will encourage such behaviors. I think the reason is because changing ports sounds cool and smart, while updates just sound boring.
That being said, port scanning is not just about targeted pentesting. You can't just run nmap on a host anymore, because IDS (intrusion detection systems) will detect it, but nowadays automated pentesting tools do distributed port scanning to bypass them : instead of flooding a host to test all their ports, they test a range of hosts for the same port, then start over with a new port. It's half-way classic port scanning and the "let's just test the whole IP range for a single vulnerability" that we more commonly see nowadays. But they are way harder to detect, as they scan smaller sets of hosts, and there can be hours before the same host is tested twice.