this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
126 points (92.0% liked)

Autism

6750 readers
75 users here now

A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.

We have created our own instance! Visit Autism Place the following community for more info.

Community:

Values

  • Acceptance
  • Openness
  • Understanding
  • Equality
  • Reciprocity
  • Mutuality
  • Love

Rules

  1. No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
  2. Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
  3. Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
  4. Do not request donations.
  5. Be respectful in discussions.
  6. Do not post misinformation.
  7. Mark NSFW content accordingly.
  8. Do not promote Autism Speaks.
  9. General Lemmy World rules.

Encouraged

  1. Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
  2. Funny memes.
  3. Respectful venting.
  4. Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
  5. Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
  6. Questions regarding autism.
  7. Questions on confusing situations.
  8. Seeking and sharing support.
  9. Engagement in our community's values.
  10. Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
  11. Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room
  • We have a chat room! Want to engage in dialogue? Come join us at the community's Matrix Chat.

.

Helpful Resources

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world
126
Warning: Hot take: the longer I’m a parent, the more I feel that we shouldn’t be able to have children (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago by shiroininja@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
38 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Some background:

I am a 35 year old male with a 2 year old son. I was diagnosed this year after a lifetime of struggling and becoming a parent exacerbating my traits.

Today I had an appointment with my son’s speech therapist, because he’s still not talking more than a couple words. The appointment is unstructured play and interaction including mimicking him, waiting for his cues, etc. The problem is, I can’t pick up on communication cues or read what to do next. I can’t communicate with him like a normal parent and I feel like I’m holding him back.

The therapist had to guide me as much as she had to guide him. This was my first time meeting her, and it was all overwhelming and overstimulating. I was fighting back tears half the time and I couldn’t keep and make eye contact as well as my 2 year old. 😭

I feel like my kid is going to be stunted because of my issues. I’m newly divorced and I’m doing my best so my wife doesn’t take him from because “I care for him, but can’t care for him.”

I struggle without routines and children are chaos. I am excluded by other parents because I’m weird or different, and they keep their kids away from us when playing at the park. I want him to be able to socialize and have friends and his autistic monster father gets in the way.

Everything is always so overwhelming and I struggle to not have panic attacks. How am I supposed to help when he gets to school? I have trouble with numbers and can’t do math😭😭

I just feel like giving up. I don’t know what to do

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] SuperJakish@lemmy.world 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hey, I stumbled across this post while surfing All. I don't have much experience with Autism but I am a parent. One of the coolest things about being a parent is that it is a lifelong journey of growth and development.

As you watch your child grow and learn, you are also growing and learning as a parent. You are constantly learning new things about yourself, your child, and the world. You are also making mistakes and learning from them. This process of growth and development is never-ending, and it is one of the most rewarding aspects of being a parent.

It is also important to remember that just because you are an adult does not mean that you are done with your life journey. You are still learning and growing, and your child is watching you do it. They are learning from your mistakes and your successes. They are also learning about the importance of lifelong learning and personal growth.

You're not alone. Every parent goes through tough times. My kids have more friends than I do... but I got to all their activities, play times, and events to support them. It's okay to make mistakes! Looking down the road to school, working with your son to find resources to help with those tough math problems means you'll be teaching him how to better seek help for himself in the future - this is an incredibly valuable skill that's easy to overlook in normal work. Being open and honest about the struggles you face and the ways you look for help (as you've done here) are powerful lessons for a growing child.

Very few people a really ready to become parents. You're figuring this out along the way just like everyone else. Grant yourself some grace, remember the wonderful things about your son, take care of yourself, and believe in yourself. You are strong and capable.

[–] shiroininja@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Thank you, your words are really encouraging and this internet stranger will take them to heart.