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Someone you knew well and were delighted to see pass away ? (kbin.social)

submitted 1 year ago by Merlu@kbin.social to c/AskKbin@kbin.social

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When someone made your life a mess, it's difficult to be sad about its death. Have you ever lived a such situation ?

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[–] zeppo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, I did have an experience like this. It's a long story and difficult to explain, but here's a TL;DR: i had a colleague who I became friends with for a while. He was going through some long mental breakdown exacerbated by addiction to prescription drugs. He was also desperately infatuated with this girl we knew who was interested in me, and not him (and he'd been married 25 years to her former roommate). He turned on me and tried his hardest to sabotage me personally and professionally, telling people a lot of different bizarre things that were not true, really insane things like I was plotting to steal their website and saying mean things about them behind their backs. He was respected in the community online, but people didn't realize that in the town he lived he had destroyed his reputation and was considered a bit of a lunatic.

His smear campaign against me resulted in a LOT of trauma, worry, missed opportunities, general negativity and stress, for no reason at all other than that he was on a ton of drugs (Ambien, antidepressants, benzos, alcohol), losing his mind, and lashing out I think to harm me because he was so upset about his own life. Eventually, I guess killed himself (nobody will tell me, because they all were convinced I was his bitter enemy, though I just sort of wished he'd stop fucking with me).

I kind of felt bad when I heard he died, but at the same time, I was relieved and sort of happy about it, as in, fuck that guy. He appointed himself my total enemy for no reason at all. I missed him as a friend but what he did to try to harm me was so extreme that I was just happy it was over.

[–] KbinItTogether@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Holy freakin moley that sounds exhausting. Is there a word for slander when it actually works to convince people of untrue things about you? Almost like gaslighting but for everyone else instead of yourself.

I can't even imagine the absurdity of being caught in a one-sided arch nemesis situation where someone has dedicated their life to destroying mine with zero interest from me except for watching The Monarch and Dr. Venture on The Venture Bros.

I'm glad you're free from such insanity and I really hope the damage he caused isn't enough to stop you from having an enjoyable life.

[–] zeppo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Thank you, yes, it was literally crazy. The word for that is... slander! Unfortunately to sue someone in the US for slander, you have to prove they knew it was false, intended to harm you, and it actually caused damages to you. Kind of a high hurdle especially when none of us have money for lawyers, but it's not like that would even help.

I hadn't even done anything to this guy at the time he flipped out on me. I had just spent 3 weeks at his house and he and his wife asked me to move in with them. The worst was that I said negative things about his dream love, who again, had zero interest in him romantically - I said she was taking advantage of us and I didn't think she was a good person, which was true. So, he told her that, plus other aforementioned ludicrous things (I was "plotting to steal her website", which wasn't even possible since it was all in her name, and she knew that, but he didn't). But she was offended and blacklisted me, herself. I ended up calling (emailing, ha) him and telling him to fuck off, which made him more upset. Later I made up with her and we had a 7-8 month relationship which was pretty messy itself, then when we broke up, she started slandering me, dating someone else, and that was when he apparently ended it.

It was about 10 years ago now, but it's still one of the weirdest chapters of my life. I had my own problems at the time and didn't really need those problems. I was traveling around the country at the time trying to hang out with people and go to conventions in our art community. I feel slightly bad as before this, I liked him a fair bit and had no reason not to, but striving to destroy me for a couple years wasn't that great.