this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2024
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She was really just your great aunt but you say great twice out of respect.
She was my grandmother's aunt so I think that makes her my great great aunt, because my great aunt is my grandma's sister. I think that's how it works? There are several 25+ year age gaps between siblings in our family so everyone is "aunty, uncle, cousin" based on age not relationship, my dad is called "uncle" even by me at family events.
Let me guide you through this darkness with the chart they give every first year law student.
This is super helpful! The legend in question is my great grand aunt (that term is so much less of a mouthful!)
Most of the people I call "Aunty" are my cousins, and the people I call "Cousin" appear to be my 1st cousin once removed, 1st cousin twice removed, and 2nd cousins once removed. (we've definitely been using "removed" wrong in my family, we would say "removed" for the lateral move across the tree, not the vertical parent child line. Eg I would say "she's my 2nd cousin" but I'd mean 1st cousin once removed, or I'd say "he's my cousin twice removed" but what I'd mean is, he's my 3rd cousin)
We're definitely still going to stick with our age based language in our family. No point getting clinical when the language we use is about the dynamics we hold. if you're 20+ years older you're my aunty/uncle, if you're the same age you're a cousin, if you're younger than me you're my nibbling. It's all vibes based relationship terminology.