this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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I remember. And what it taught me is that in the eyes of society at large I wasn't a real person until I was 21. It also taught me that society may PUNISH adults who try to treat people under 21 as though they're real human beings. You see, that's (not really) "GROOMING". Also, in any case other than violent criminality, any action a human being takes under the age of 18 is attributable to their guardians, "because they don't understand what they were doing". But the acts of violent criminality? Tried as an adult "because they clearly had to have understood what they were doing".
Look. I hate it, but: we treat children like second class citizens, like pets, like slaves, because it's dangerous to do otherwise. Children are a fucking minefield of legal grey areas and drastically accelerated consequences. The shit you and I live through on a daily basis gets brushed off as "that's just life" but if it happens to a fifteen year old "ARE YOU CRAZY THEY'RE ONLY A CHILD". And I'm not so sure I'd be able to meaningfully or successfully argue against that if I ever found myself in a position where I'm found culpable for someone of that age group.
Gods help me I think I'd rather die than have children of my own, but if I ever did, I'd have to be honest with them about all the terrible features of the society in which we live:
And if your reaction to the prospect of admitting all this to "just a child" is revulsion and dread... THAT very reaction is why we don't treat children like people.
Yeah, this is the first I've seen someone else weirded out by the constant push to up the age you're considered a 'real adult'. I've seen people arguing for the age of consent to be set to 25 and treating people in their 20's like they were 12 year olds.
Like I'm not arguing that old men dating young women isn't gross, but that doesn't make those young women in their 20's children. There's this dehumanizing element to the conversation that's really concerning to me, but the whole sexual abuse aspect of it overshadows the extremely troubling language they're using, so you can't address it.
You can acknowledge inherent power imbalances without resorting to treating the younger party like a kid.
God, the "age of consent" being at 25 freaks me out.. If I didn't become legally an adult when I did I don't know if I would have been still alive today
These thoughts about consent and everything are all well and good as long as you assume a perfectly healthy family. But what if it's not? What if it's dysfunctional? Or abusive? What if the environment you're in is straight up unhealthy for you?
It really feels like child abuse is very much an afterthought. Despite it being much much more common than people in the past thought. And child abuse is something that comes along with you through your entire life, and if you don't at least try to handle it, you're just left a broken person further harming yourself in ways that society is not kind towards, and we're left with what society considers to be "problem" people.
I'm truly sorry you went through that. I think there's room for taking the environment into consideration regarding emancipation. In a decent society there would be healthy families willing to foster young people who were dealt the shitty care givers card.