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I can't imagine (as a unmarried guy) living in a marriage where my wife would be afraid to tell me who she voted for. Even if she votes Trump, she's my spouse, and that comes way before that. She should chew me out if I make her feel afraid.
...It makes me feel shame for the culture some men are raised in.
I’d you’re married to someone who has opposite political views than you , your marriage probably has a lot of issues and voting secrecy is way down on the list. You don’t need to be perfectly aligned but mostly.
Depends upon how extreme the differences are. Arnold Schwarzenegger - who's a moderate Republican (thankfully supporting Harris) - was married to Maria Shriver from the infamously Democrat-heavy Kennedy family for well over a quarter century. Bill Clinton's (in)famous campaign adviser, James Carville, had been married to a well known Republican counterpart (Mary Matalin) since the early '90s.
I remember my parents civilly disagreeing about H.W. vs. Dukakis, and later H.W. vs. Clinton. There was never a problem there, just a civil discussion and a difference of opinion. But if either of them was a MAGAt, I think they would be spending their last decade or two apart, and they'd be better off that way too. Shit has been on a while different level the last 10 years, at least.