this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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AskReddit (lemmy.today)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by LodeMike@lemmy.today to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
 

Image description:

screenshot of r/AskReddit post by u/CriticalGeode . Title only. official phone app. Light mode.

How would you hide the body of a 165 Ib, 78 year-old white male who is approximately 6 feet tall?

Upvoted by screenshoter. No shown score.

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[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 55 points 1 day ago (7 children)

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

[–] ben_dover@lemmy.ml 4 points 9 hours ago
[–] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Someone else posted the same comment 4 hours before.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 5 points 14 hours ago

I'm not sure how I didn't notice that but thanks.

[–] rimmedalpha@lemmynsfw.com 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Second best monolog in that movie. The Desert Eagle vs Replica scene is still my favorite.

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

I like the part when Brad Pitt says "aslkdjhgfaledkjfhgawserlfkjhawuigh?"

[–] PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (2 children)

I think getting teeth out of a dead body's skull would be more difficult and shittier than sifting through the pig shit afterwards.

Sixteen pigs? Farm animals are expensive and so are farms. I don't doubt pigs are a good way to dispose of a body but if you're that well off, surely there are even more foolproof methods available.

[–] BigPotato@lemmy.world 8 points 16 hours ago

Someone has never seen Snatch, have they?

[–] teamevil@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

Nails...the pigs don't digest nails

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Damn, this guy crimes. I'm impressed.

[–] Snowcano@startrek.website 12 points 22 hours ago

It’s from the movie Snatch. Banger of a classic!

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca -4 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

So you call yourself fuxk spez yet you kust copy/paste your comments from older comments in the same thread?

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 5 points 12 hours ago

I copied and pasted my comment from IMDb and then discovered someone else had already posted it. If I was that lazy I wouldn't have bothered removing the other person's line breaks.

[–] frigidaphelion@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Do you know what "nemesis" means?

"A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt; me."

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works -1 points 17 hours ago

"Horrible star trek movie"?