this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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You’re really dodging my entire point here. You’re trying to use generic, anecdotal “evidence” to tell individuals that they shouldn’t expect something and should just do it your way.
And I’ve seen plenty of my actual friends go into them being clear about it from the start, communicating fully, and everyone party to it also knowing that a relationship ending naturally is not “falling apart”.
Yes, monogamy is simple and doesn’t require near the same levels of trust and communication(though it fuckin’ should). As a general statement we’re all pretty emotionally stunted and people trying something like that out without the skills to pay the bills are going to have a bad time. On an individual level there are absolutely people who can, and do, handle it really well. All the people I know who participate in open relationships are very emotionally intelligent, honest, and understanding people so it’s no small wonder that they can hack it where others struggle.
No one is asking you to be in an open relationship and it’s totally valid to not want to be in one. You can be all those nice things I mentioned and still prefer monogamy, too.
Every time I abided by an open relationship ,I was just enabling a super shitty situation. My friends have similar experiences.
You claim that I'm relying on anecdotal evidence, but so are you. I don't see why your comment is in any way more valid than my comment.
But hey have fun with your girlfriend having sex with other dudes, most likely with a lot more ease than you can have sex with other women. If you're really super secure in your way of life, then my disapproval shouldn't bother you.
I’m countering your anecdotal evidence with my own, and between us I’m not the one trying to limit people to one or the other.
You got some shit to work through that we won’t fix today but I hope you get to it eventually, genuinely.
Jesus Christ the projection. If you think everyone who has an issue with open relationships is mentally unsound, you're gonna have to fix the vast majority of the country.
I said that monogamy can hide issues, and that people are totally able to be emotionally intelligent and secure while preferring to be monogamous. You’re not so good at this “reading” thing, are ya?
And ya know what, we’ve seen plenty of examples of people being pretty shitty, on purpose or not, and could really use people getting better. There are a LOT of people who support Donald Trump, are we going to argue that sheer numbers makes them correct?
So, yea, we do have a lot to fix. Sticking our heads in the sand and pretending nothing is wrong isn’t a solution, you coward.
Have fun with your SO and your brother-husbands.
…right.
Are you, like, ok?