this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2024
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Ask Autistic People

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A community for anyone to ask autistic people questions: non-autistic people to learn about the autistic experience and autistic people to get information or validation from their peers.

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Rules

  1. Follow instance rules
  2. Text-posts only
  3. Questions must be directed at autistic people
  4. If you are answering a question and are not autistic, please state so in your comment. Otherwise, it is presumed the respondent is autistic.

Keep in mind: Autistic people are a diverse group with diverse experiences and perspectives. Not one represents the entire community.

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[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

I had an almost-nonverbally autistic passenger (I’m an Uber driver).

I had the windows rolled down and the music on. After a block or so I asked him “Is the wind too much?” He sort of squeaked out “yeah”. So I rolled up the windows and put the AC on. A minute later I asked him “Is the music also too much?” and he said “yeah” in the same way. So I turned off the music.

It was so nice to sit there in the AC with no music, and not feel the need to talk to keep my passenger entertained. I mask really well. So well in fact that I forget how exhausting it is.

I was able to drop my mask with this guy. I didn’t have to use my “natural/casual” body language; could just sit there stiff backed, not moving my head. It felt so natural and easy. It’s like I had forgotten who I am.

I wanted to tell the guy “It’s really nice to have a passenger who doesn’t need anything from me”, but I didn’t because I figured he was also enjoying the silence.

I know it sounds bigoted of me to say, but NTs are so high maintenance. I’ve gotten used to providing the constant stream of comforting gestures they expect, and it just felt so good to let all that drop for twenty minutes while I drove this guy home.