Selfhosted
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Totally agree with the mentions of Wireguard and Tailscale. They make this super easy. Have done exactly this myself before, for the same use case.
However at the time, i had to change something in the server-properties config file in order for it to work properly. Minecraft servers still authenticate users when hosting yourself (afaik). This however isnt possible over a mesh netowrk like wireguard/tailscale. I simply had to change a boolean value of the line called something like, server-online, or online-mode..
Best of luck!
i think i may go with wire guard, do you know of any good videos or tutorials? i found this, https://www.digitalocean.com/community/tutorials/how-to-set-up-wireguard-on-ubuntu-20-04
I recommend using a docker container, they make the whole thing painless and easy.
I think the Linuxserver.io one is what I used from memory.