(Happiness to despair)
- Dressing fem feels so good!
- Everything that fits is in the wash.
- Guess it's boymode today
- I can't even just no
So I seem to have gone from "this plain T-shirt is secretly from the women's section, nobody will notice!" to "goddammit I'm dressing like a man I feel so ridiculous" without realizing. Um.
Happy ending, though: I forgot to unpack the skater skirt and stripy socks from my Trans Starter Pack™. Very un-stylish but who cares!
My work uniform is what finally made it click for me. I was getting ready one morning, and it just really hit me that it felt like I was putting on someone else's costume. How so much of my wardrobe felt that way, and had for a long time, I just hadn't been ready to face that part of myself.
That's a very good way to put it; I know exactly what you mean. (There should be PSAs on TV for this kind of thing: hey, kids! If you experience this, you're probably trans!)
I've always (until very recently, of course) really hated buying clothes. One of the factors leading up to my egg-crack was my wife (justifiably) nagging me that my clothes were all falling apart and I really needed to get some new ones. She even very kindly offered to order some for me online. But I just... couldn't. The idea of buying and wearing this stuff wasn't something I could recognize in myself. And, at last, I realized that there might be something bigger going on.