this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
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Me personally? I've become much less tolerant of sexist humor. Back in the day, cracking a joke at women's expense was pretty common when I was a teen. As I've matured and become aware to the horrific extent of toxicity and bigotry pervading all tiers of our individualistic society, I've come to see how exclusionarly and objectifying that sort of 'humor' really is, and I regret it deeply.

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[–] Calamades@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 1 year ago (53 children)

I've been trying to degender my language. I grew up saying "thank you (or excuse me, yes/no, etc) sir/ma'am" and then being in customer facing positions for years just absolutely cemented that in my mind to the point where it is an absolute knee jerk reaction to make assumptions about the gender of others. It's an awful habit and makes me cringe every time I do it. I try to either just avoid the gender identifier ("thank you.") which to my mind sounds impolite, or use gender neutral terms like "friend" which REALLY sound impolite. It's tough but I'm working on it! The real trouble is getting my brain to stop gendering others and as a quite elderly millenial who actually identifies as Agender it is an annoying and difficult task. I'm envious of younger folks who won't grow up with these kinds of ideas as a default.

[–] Chrisosaur@startrek.website 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

“Thank you friend” is impolite? Maybe it’s informal, but I think that’s a great solution to the problem. I can’t imagine anyone having a problem with that except maybe an aggro asshole.

[–] Menachem@midwest.social 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Maybe I've just spent too long arguing with aholes on the internet but to me calling someone "friend" comes across as very sarcastic and condescending

Edit, it's like calling someone you don't know "buddy" or "pal"

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] stringere@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Listen here, buddy!

[–] Chrisosaur@startrek.website 3 points 1 year ago

I could see it online, yeah. If you use a friendly tone in person it wouldn’t be a problem.

[–] Calamades@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago

Fair enough! I do use it pretty frequently. I would really like it if someone said that to me, so maybe it isn't as impolite as I perceive it. Thanks.

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