this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2024
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Relationship Advice

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Following up on this post https://lemmy.ml/post/18558315 I made not too long ago.

I went on a few more dates with him and I just was feeling similarly unsure. And I’ve felt like I’ve wanted to possibly end things because I was scared about things escalating, like if he asked to be my boyfriend or if we became more intimate. And I did keep feeling like I need to end things.

So I broke it off with him today, and I just broke down crying for like 30 minutes. I’ve never cried over a guy before and I feel like maybe I made a mistake. I didn’t realize my feelings were strong enough to make me cry. But in the moment when I am with him it hasn’t felt like I was feeling much of anything.

I guess I’m just looking for advice on how can I better understand my own feelings in these situations and not be so uncertain. I really feel like I don’t understand my feelings and don’t know what to do based off of that so any advice on how to be more in-tune with my feelings would be appreciated.

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[–] djsoren19@yiffit.net 5 points 3 months ago

I recently got out of a pretty rough relationship, so I can try to help. I think the single most important thing to look for in a partner is whether or not they make you happy. If the guy wasn't making you happy, he's probably not worth spending the rest of your life with. I know that when I made the decision to split from my ex, it felt like the hardest decision in my life. It felt like I tore my own heart out and crushed it in my fist. However, you have to put your own happiness first in our cruel world. Even though the split was painful, I am a lot happier now that I am single, and I'm even excited to try and meet someone new.

I also felt a lot of regret and fear and anguish when I split, so it's not like break-ups are meant to be a happy thing. Take some time to yourself, really feel those emotions, and then search for your resolve. Nobody is born into this world to be alone, you'll find someone.