My baby is 6 weeks old. I’ve been planning to buy some loop earplugs “soon”. Well she just discovered a kind of cry that reverberates in my amygdala, so “soon” was NOT SOON ENOUGH.
Sigh. I’m gonna buy loops once my partner is awake. Yknow, so I can ask what colour he wants his in…
Eta for context! Loops and ear defenders specifically don’t block all noise, they just reduce the decibels of loud sounds. So using them means you can be more physically present for a baby with colic (and probably other fun ailments that happen later) longer before you need to step away from your nerves being fried. This is especially life-saving for neurodivergent parents, obviously, but I’d bet most parents get stressed and tetchy during certain cries.
Tl;dr still always reply to your baby when they cry! And it’s okay to use tools that make the experience gentler on yourself.
Not sure why the downvotes
I'm going to guess it's that babies cry because they have a need and you shouldn't ignore that, especially at 6 weeks old
Ear plugs =/= can’t hear. Loops specifically are designed to allow you to hear but not have hearing damage.
My baby is colicky AF and will scream while we’re in the process of making her a bottle. Or while we’re burping her. Or when we have to pull the bottle away to wipe spit up. Or while we’re in the process of soothing her but not soothed yet.
I’m pretty patient (with children, not judgy parents though) but I’m not perfect. I can parent better and be more present while not massively overwhelmed by a noise designed by evolution to be horrible and intolerable.
Understood, appreciate the context! I'm sure that colic will resolve soon
I appreciate the sentiment (it hasn’t gotten better per se yet, but we’ve gotten more used to the… nature of the screams) and also I wanted to apologise for being rather combative in explaining the context— which, yeah, was definitely missing in the original post. Gonna edit that now to make this post less rant, more informative.
You can respond to a baby without having your nerves fried. Ear plugs do not mute the world.
Lol. Votes from non-parents and parents who didn't have a child with colick.
A parent should absolutely ignore it, after doing the checklist of basic needs, and after calling for, and while waiting for, whatever additional help is available to them.
A ragged worn out parent isn't any use to the child, and also isn't particularly safe for the child to be near.
A screaming baby is rarely in any immediate danger. It takes strength to scream. That's generally a good sign. If the baby can scream bloody murder, it can afford to wait a few minutes for a more thoughtful reaction to it's needs.
Babies screams evolved to get everyone human in the area off their asses. But babies don't actually know what is a crisis and what isn't. Those are both good and normal things, but the combination is often overwhelming.
Once an adult human has determined that no crisis is impending for the next few minutes, it's time to put the fussy baby down and get some rest and relief.
Yep this. I’ve been given the advice to step away from my baby when she’s crying if I’m overwhelmed and she’s in a safe place. That’s advice from basically every medical professional I’ve encountered during pregnancy and post partum. Because it is so, so important to not let your nerves get fried in an attempt to be a perfect parent, because letting your nerves get fried will lead to shit you’ll regret down the line. Be that shouting or checking out mentally or way worse stuff.
Ok, but this post doesn't say anything about any of that, it just says "if you're going to have a baby, buy earplugs." Most infants don't have colic and don't cry for no reason.
Source: Have had baby
Most babies don't almost choke on their own snot too, but it's too late to buy a snot sucker in the moment. Same with earplugs. They're a few bucks each. I advise new parents to buy both and shove them in a drawer somewhere.
I'm just glad I am not your kid, I guess.
They are human beings with emotional needs as well, if I may remind everyone. Not just a sack of potatoes that may or may not be screaming.
I'm gonna try one more time, flight attendant style: you have to care for yourself first.
Trying to care for baby when you're no longer capable isn't ever an acceptable solution.
Set the baby down and get help.
They'll usually live through it.
Edit: To be clear a babies chances of living through being set down once in awhile are much better than their safety with a parent who doesn't know how to set them down once in awhile.
There's plenty of data on the topic.
Take an occasional break, new parents!
We're probably saying the same thing at this point, I realize.
I did not interpret tour comment as ignoring them only when you are worn out and cannot deal with the situation.
In that case, yes I agree, and I reach that point myself occasionally as well, and do walk away if needed to recoup myself.
My objection was against treating this as a regular behaviour, rather then a rare exception.
And i did have a baby with colic. Fortunately it was the first one, and it's much easier when you only have one to deal with, so I was generally composed.
That's bold of you to assume their emotional needs aren't being met. Either you're a parent whose basic checklist doesn't include giving the kid a cuddle, or you're not a parent, in which case rest assured that most parents' checklists do contain cuddling their babies when they're crying.
Sure, but that is not what the parent comment said. Or at least I did not interpret it that way.
Holding a baby next to your ear ain't ignoring, you are more able to do that if you protect your ear against screetching