this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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ADHD
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Same principle behind the "Everybody is perfect but me in Facebook" misperception - ones sees a cultivated image of others there which one compares with the intimatelly familiar image (with all the warts) one has of oneself and, well, a carefully cultivated image is almost always superior to a nothing hidden one unless you've gotten to a point were you actually value people's quirks more than flat, tasteless, always-the-same "perfection" and/or can read beyond peoples' masks (things are a lot my interesting when you ask yourself "Why has this person felt the need to post this?")
This is then amped up by certain personality traits which are stronger at certain stages of one's life (i.e. the natural insecurities of youth) which fill the "missing pieces" in other people's life, drives and intentions with an overly positive fantasy rather than a realistic one (which would roughly be "Everybody fucks up at times. Everybody has quirks. Lots of energy spent on managing appearance means the rest of a persona is likely underdeveloped").
It doesn't help that the current society of celebrity-celebration, ubiquitous-marketing and creating-emotion-to-induce-action is almost entirelly anchored on fakeness: we're constantly faced with carefully-crafted unachievable fantasy examples of what we are told we should aim for (normally with a "buy this to be more like that" message) and that always leaks something, even if just an uncomfortable pressure.
This is far from being just a problem for those who are not neurotypical, though those who for one reason or other are "more aware of the ticking of their internal clockworks" probably spot better that there are pushes and pulls (or at least attemptes at it) from the outside even if they can't quite track it down.