this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2024
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Maybe-un-doomy update (or, "A crab is making me post!") (pawb.social)
submitted 7 months ago by RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social to c/trans@lemmy.blahaj.zone
30 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

[Lie] Okay so, cowboycrustation says I have to post or he's gonna pinch me 🙀

I currently seem to be somewhat less doomed than previously seemed likely. Turns out a kind critter contacted another who called for helps and yet another popped up like "Hay, we have a room just for critters like that one!" So now I'm here in a lil room of a four-critter family's place, in neat lil area @.@ It's gonna be awkweird but I've got somewhere to be other than frozen Minnesota street doom and there are critters trying to help me so I've got at least some kinda chance of getting by up here. Am sleepy now but the looming threat of crabby pinchings and/or pinchy crabbings compels me to post something so here it is :P 😅

Lots of new experiences, too. Hanging out playing board games on the floor of my hotel room with my new friends, who didn't even know each other... that was neat 😅 Neat day. Better than the previous one. I think. I don't really know what happened that day. Anyway, some things are happenifying. Also it's kinda cold here 😅

Oh, the city looks super different than my initial impression. I suppose part of that is riding in a car versus riding a bus or train, but it looked much more familiar on the way here. Also being daytime probably helped a lot. My initial impression was like, dark and enclosed and often a lil bit lost, riding light rail with a bunch of smokers, trying to navigate Mall of America with eighty bazillion hunams in it @.@ D: 🙀 ... That sort of thing. Muchly different! Anyway, I'ma nap or something now. @.@ 😴

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[–] onevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I, like many of us in this community, have been following your situation closely. Unfortunately I was not in a place where I could help how I would have liked, but I will say this:

I'm so incredibly proud of you Keris. I know this was such a scary step but you did it! Take a deep breath and try and relax your little critter head 😘

Better days are ahead. Just keep on taking those small steps. One after another. Soon you'll realize just how far you've come and all the friends and family you have found along the way.

We get to choose our family. And no one can take that from us.

Love yourself and take care ❤️

-Olivia

[–] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's mostly just been accidental, going along with Brain kinda tricking me and following other critters around :P

[–] onevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well keep listening to that brain and nice critters Hun ;)

Believe it or not that mind of yours wants to be happy and to live life :) I hope this is your first step towards that.

Please feel free to reach out to me through dm or discord/matrix if you'd like another trans sister to talk to ❤️

I live in Indiana so I'm pretty far away but can offer internet cookies and virtual hugs

🫂 🍪

[–] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 7 points 7 months ago

noms hug, cookies back 🤔 Wait I think I did something wrong 😹 Also hungry now because of the non-real cookie 🤔 😅

[–] cowboycrustation@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Thanks for the update post! I'm proud of you for getting this far.

[–] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

weird squeaking noises!

[–] knightly@pawb.social 8 points 7 months ago

😸

[–] EmilyIsTrans@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 7 months ago

Like the other mods, I've been following this closely and I'm happy to see you find support and community! I'm proud of you and I hope things only get better from here ❤️

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Congratulations! Sorry I haven't commented/talked more, life has kept me a bit... lacking in brain-spoons. Tried to go get a microphone so I can talk to discord internet peoples (and maybe get some longer displayport and/or hdmi cables) but apparently micro center was closed for easter???

It's a relief to hear you're somewhere a bit more stable (I hope? It sounds like it). Totally agree on Malls, waaaay too people-y for me, I just hit my limit and disassociate until it's over, then completely crash for several hours.

You are absolutely, 100%, unquestionably worthy of being helped. You deserve friendship and affection of others, you deserve to have a place you feel safe, you deserve to have clean water to drink and nutritious food to eat. You deserve somewhere comfortable to rest. You deserve to have access to an environment that meets your needs both physically and mentally. You deserve access to medical care. You deserve access to opportunities to succeed in life.

On a more depressing note (to reply to one of your comments on a previous post), I am concerned that seemed to be minimizing your circumstances a bit.

Your parents called the cops to try to evict you illegally, likely with the full knowledge and acceptance of what having the cops called on you means for many, many people. Possibly explicitly wanting a bad outcome. That is not okay on ANY level. It is utterly reprehensible, and no better than SWATing in my eyes.

This is absolutely a circumstance warranting escape to a safer location.

[–] cowboycrustation@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I completely agree with you, Zorsith. It's easy to have survivor's guilt and feel bad about it and feel like you were making something out of nothing. But the problem is, retrospect can minimize things in one's mind. Getting out and surviving can lead to "oh, well I'm here in one piece so it must have not been that bad" but it was that bad.

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I have a family member that has (and continues to add to) a hoarder house, minimizing issues scares me a bit. I'm talking massive two story house with basement, multi car garage, etc, with 1 foot wide paths between floor to ceiling piles of things. Maybe 2 small rooms that can be used, sleeping in a recliner because they can't get to their bed. "It's not that bad" can be horrifying.

[–] cowboycrustation@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

My parent is a hoarder too, though it's not quite to the extent of yours. Mom's gotten slightly better about it. She keeps the bulk of her stuff in two office buildings (six rooms total), the entirety of our old house, and the attic at my grandma's house. It took years of throwing a hissy fit about how awful our house was and how I was embarrassed and ashamed to bring friends over (can relate to those one foot paths, always had to hop over piles of stuff to get to the bathroom) to actually get her to give away and move some stuff out. I get really triggered if I see a pile with a sheet covering it, gives me awful flashbacks. On the plus side, I can live in pretty much any condition because I grew up in such a rat's nest.

She'd always minimize that shit. Called me spoiled, said that since we didn't have a garage so the room in the middle of the house was like our garage (bullshit and who tf puts four year old bags of chocolate and piles of expired toiletries in their garage). Said that our house was so small and most people have more room for storage (the house isn't small at all. Three bedrooms and plenty of space). The hoarder gaslighting and minimizing is real. Hell, the emotionally unhealthy parent gaslighting and minimizing is real.

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Thankfully it isn't a parent in my case, a grandma. None of it can realistically be given away as it is infested with fleas and other insects, and smells of cat urine and death. My parents won't go in anymore, I started refusing years before them. I'm told there are storage units as well 😔

I'm grateful my mother nipped that behavior in the bud the second my dad started displaying it.

[–] cowboycrustation@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That's depressing AF. I wish hoarders would realize how much their actions affect other people.

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Best we can do is better ourselves, pay attention to the signs, and help others understand. It's a deep hole to fall into, and not everyone is able or willing to take the offered hand to climb out sadly

[–] cowboycrustation@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 7 months ago

So true. Sometimes I hear that little voice in my head that's like "don't give this or throw it away...what if you need it for something."

[–] Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 7 months ago

I'm glad things aren't so dire!

I hope you get either the job I suggested or the others I'm sure you were sent.

Feel free to reach out to me on Discord if you want to get to know me or my friend group!

[–] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm really happy that you finally have a place to stay! I was really worried about you being alone out in the cold.

Also if you're looking for free things to do during the day, the Minneapolis Institution of Art (giant art gallery) is free and also the Como Conservatory is free too. The conservatory is really nice to visit when you're getting tired of winter.

[–] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 5 points 7 months ago

worried about you being alone out in the cold.

Yeah no that particular issue had me a little panicky 😅 Seems like somehow some people manage it around here but 🙀 Though maybe scarier being alone than being cold. Having a critter(s) to cling to to avoid being totally lost can be pretty significant <.<

[–] good_girl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Glad you're safe! I was genuinely worried for a bit there, but this update definitely has me hopeful for you. Please stay safe out there!

[–] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 7 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Sorries <.< Got kinda slightly dark there for a bit. ... And then another bit. And maybe one more, as a treat. Am just kinda starting to really process where I am 😵‍💫 Well, hopefully this is the beginning a new half-of-a-life and some day I'll get to help other critters! Just gotta figure out how to reattach my head and a million or so other things.

grumbles about wanting the first half back

[–] good_girl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

grumbles about wanting the first half back

God that's such a mood.

It seems like you've got a wonderful attitude about all of this which is really nice to hear!

[–] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 6 points 7 months ago

wonderful attitude about all of this

Uhhhhh, Idunno who you're talking about 😅

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 7 months ago

I'm thrilled you have the space to process things 😊 that's my goal as well someday, to be in a better position to help others (right now I'm not anywhere anybody particularly wants to be, so writing on the internet and occasional monetary help is all I've got)

[–] Luminia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 7 months ago

Thrilled to hear things are looking better! I wish you only the very best from here on out! I believe in you, Keris! You’ve got this! Also, enjoy that nap, you’ve earned it! 🩷

[–] knightly@pawb.social 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Just checking in, how are you doing?

[–] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Am okayish. Have a thing to go to this morning. Managed a bit of a trip (food and shopping up some socks and better walking shoes) yesterday, though it ended up kinda stressy for normaller reasons than the usual reasons that things stress me >.<; Lot of walking (well, for me. Wearing flats. :-\ ), hunams everywhere, missed a bus, that kind of thing. Got a little more accustomed to the bus system here, at least. Discovered that some drivers will try to launch me to the back the instant I step onto the bus 😅 😒

It's all baby steps right now, really :-\ I'm the sort of janky critter wot needs meds just to make it out the door so the difficulty of everything gets multiplied a few times before I even start :-\ Probably wouldn't have made it to the bus stop without them. For reference, there's a bus stop right out front of this place I'm currently at. I could fall down the little sloped area over there 👉 and just about roll onto a bus. 😮‍💨 Oh well, I guess. Hopefully some things work out.

[–] knightly@pawb.social 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

*happy mews and hugs *

I'm really glad to hear you're making progress, the normal stress sounds so much more managable than at your old place!

Baby steps are still steps, I'm proud of you for getting out and doing stuff even if you need meds for it 😸

[–] RiikkaTheIcePrincess@pawb.social 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Managed to get at least one of my prescriptions sent up here :3 Rest should follow soonish. Also got onto TextNow in case I lose phone service. 🐭 squeaky skittery lil steps

Thanks for being all sweet an' stuff :3 squeaky mews and hugglifications Kinda weird to hear of critters being proud of me for normal stuff, even though it's actually really hard for me 😅 Is a weird life.

[–] knightly@pawb.social 3 points 7 months ago

Yeah, well, I'm a weird critter myself and I think there's no greater victory than living authentically despite the haters. 😸