At 8 years old... Does she actually know if she's trans or did the mother tell her she was?
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This reads as transphobic, but I'm going to leave it up for two reasons:
- First, your subsequent comments don't show any malice, just a lack of understanding.
- Second, that lack of understanding appears to have been rectified by others' comments, and I think seeing that could be valuable for onlookers.
I'm not trans myself, but my son is, and he explains how he felt something like this...
Imagine you're a pretty average boy, and interested in stereotypical boy things. You like boy clothes, you want to hang out with your friends who are boys, you look forward to growing muscles and a mustache when you're old enough, etc.
Now imagine that at the same time, all your clothes are girl clothes, your name is girly, and everyone around you thinks you're a girl.
That wouldn't match up, would it. It would feel incongruous and wrong.
If you're cisgender, you can absolutely prove you're a boy to everyone's satisfaction, and you're unlikely to get dressed in the wrong clothes or given a mismatched name in the first place. So you probably don't ever have to think about your gender and whether it's being expressed by your body incorrectly.
But for trans people, it's not uncommon for them to become acutely aware of gender when they're young in ways that their cisgender counterparts don't, precisely because of the mismatch.
That's how it was for my son. He didn't figure out he was trans until he was around thirteen, but he knew something wasn't right long before then.
How are children mature enough to realize they are trans?
Seems like children are too impressionable to be able to make decisions like that.