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Yes, the never-ending feeling that a small amount of more effort could make the result better. Recognize and counter it.
Perfect is the enemy of done
Mentally decide to do it imperfectly or even "badly". Pick the first recipe you see. Buy ingredients of any quality you find. Cook it with the utensils you have - whisk with a fork, knead badly by hand, etc.
Trust yourself that if you aren't pleased with the result, you will make adjustments for next time.
Thanks. I want to try this and accept it if things go wrong. I already realise that in the worst case, we go to a restaurant nearby or order pizza or something.
But somehow my brain wants me to do hours of effort to make it perfect. I should have some kind of training to accept mistakes and imperfect results.
You went down a rabbit hole and got overwhelmed, it happens to the best of us lol..
Try breaking down the big task in to smaller steps and focus only on the next step. Remember you're only starting out, keep things simple at first as you get to know for yourself your likes and dislikes (advice from others is great, but taste is personal as is ability), cooking isn't going anywhere!
I notice often I get stuck on the next step and don't know how to do something, and that usually results in the browsing spree and me going down the rabbit hole.
Not sure how to avoid it really.
That's called analysis paralysis
Yeah, I feel like I have this a lot, in many areas in life. But how do you combat it?
Yeah, I experience this all the time. I've got dozens of interests and I often find myself in the same situation where I've put too much energy into research and now I don't have any left for actually doing it.
Here's what I do, I take a day away from whatever it is and the next day I put together the smallest thing I can do, rather than the best. It's even better if you can just use what you already have, supplies and research included.
In your case, cooking is perfect for this way of doing things. You can play with the recipe as you're making it. And unless you're dealing with raw meat at that moment, you can taste as you go to get everything just right. I recommend a simple vegetable soup. There's almost always some vegetables laying around in my fridge or cupboard and there's so many ways you can make it yours. Some veggies, tomatoes, water, and a couple spices is the simplest way.
After that, try swapping some parts out, maybe broth instead of water, or throw in some chopped chicken, or swap tomatoes for heavy cream and a pinch of flour, or play with the amount of ingredients, maybe more tomatoes and less veggies, or more veggies and less water.
I hope this helps and I'm sorry this is so long. Cooking is one of my favorite things and I think everyone should get to enjoy making their own food.
I HATE cooking recipes! They always seem to want to make you go above and beyond when you just want to eat.
I agree, but if you do not have much experience cooking, uncomplicated recipes are a good way to start if you don't have anyone to help teach you, or you aren't comfortable having someone help.
Cooking is one of the things I use to try to maintain balance. When I started it was a disaster. Basic recipes, learning the fundamentals, was great. I still fought the rigidity, but understanding how a braise actually worked helped immensely.
I had someone ask me today what I was eating, 'just leftovers' what is it, smells great 'Indian corn curry' you know how to cook Indian food? (I thought of course I do) I said yes. What's in it? Well you do this, then this... Then I info dumped on them and I'm pretty sure they regretted asking.
I would love to be able to just make anything based on whatever is in the fridge. But I don't really have much experience yet, and especially on days when I'm tired, I feel incapable of thinking up something to prepare. I just stare at the fridge and pantry and have no clue where to start.
I usually start by identifying the “meat” I want to have, then preheat the oven if necessary. The meat usually takes longest to cook.
While that’s happening, I check that I have all the other stuff I need. Once the oven’s preheated, I put the meat (and anything else to be oven cooked) in and set the timer according to the packaging instructions. Once it reaches 10-12 minutes, I usually boil some pasta/rise with some veg.
I’m not sure if that’s the best way, but it works for me.
I think that’s a good idea.
I actually like taking recipes and trying to reduce them to their most generic form. Like a curry, or a stew, or a salad. Most of the ingredients can be substituted, but the basic steps are the same.
Thanks everyone already for all the suggestions, makes me feel like this is something that happens to others as well.
we have some standard recipes for boring stuff like pancakes or waffles stuck to the door of our cabinets, and the ingredients are all in a word document i print every time i go to the store.
maybe pick out a "good enough" one and print/write out the recipe, as long as it's easier to get to than most other recipes. when you have an easily accessible selection of meals you definetely like, it gets easier to decide what to make.
as for the ingredients themselves, you can order spices and stuff online (at least i'm pretty sure). can't do much about the prices though.
there's also the possibility to go to more than one grocery store, i have thought of making the word documents into sections for different stores.
also time doesn't matter much for me, a well made meal is ar least worth an hour of my time (but not always on a work day). that time is better spent making food than staring at youtube all day.
I actually like cooking, especially if it turns out well. And I don't really mind working on it for an hour or so. But this time I spent and entire free day looking up things to make and it felt a bit too much.
at some point, research into a topic will not get you any closer to a conclusion. i've had that situation many times, i recommend picking one of the recipes at random and just making it.
i've recently replaced my computer mouse, and since the entire market is trying to replicate the success logitech had, there's tens if not hundreds of options for lightweight mice.
i ended up ordering a steelseries one and returned it a few days later. i do not regret ordering it, because i have learned about how steelseries makes mice and their software. neither should you be scared of making a random meal, although you won't get your money back if it turns into a learning experience.
i ended up with the perfect mouse for me after that. and you will have your assortment of meals to make. i'm one of those "if it works, don't touch it" people and limiting yourself to like 10(?) spots in your recipe spot could help the... i'm just gonna call it 'fear of the subideal option'.
P.S.: that behaviour reminds me of myself during depressive episodes. may not be the case for you, just something my pattern recognition alerted me about.
Just starting with something random is a good idea. I think that's usually also how I get out of these situations.
I actually recently had the same issue when looking for a mouse. I wanted something lightweight, works with bluetooth for day to day work, but can also be used wired (with less latency). But it had to be with usb-c.
This was surprisingly hard to find and it took me several weeks before I decided. (Got the Keychron M3, which really fits my needs perfectly) Unfortunately this reinforces my behavior to keep researching for a long time before deciding. (honestly the time I spent on this was probably not worth it, even though it is a good mouse. I would probably have been fine using my old logitech for a while longer)
Sometimes there is not even an option that fulfills all criteria, and in those situations I can keep looking forever. Then it becomes really important to just let it go and get something that's "good enough".
Not sure how to train myself to do more of the opposite though.
You might be right that it has to do with my current mental state too. I recently moved to a different country, and (even just sensory wise) it has been an overwhelming week.
When overwhelmed, my mind tends to go blank and I just keep researching forever in some kind of zombie mode. I wish I knew a way to ease myself. But that is actually one of my main challenges, how to rest and recover. I tend to default to browsing/researching more online whenever I have nothing to do, or when I'm too tired.
that is such a coincidence! i bought the M3 mini!
the "fuck it, i'll try this one" approach has gotten me out of these research fatigues more times than i want to admit.
playing music is a great way to relax for me. even if it's boring, i'll listen to the tiny noises that made it into the recording or that the artist hid there at "the edge of it".
best of luck in your new place, and happy cooking.
Haha, great choice of mouse :)
I never really got into music much, maybe because it's too distracting for me (especially with lyrics) I do feel like it can be very relaxing, but it heavily depends on the song. And I never bothered to make myself a playlist, so I don't really know what I would listen too. (and I will avoid that rabbit hole for the time being :P)
Thanks for the kind words.
I like using sites that give me recipes based on the ingredients I already have. That way I'm not burned by finding something that looks good, but am unable to get the ingredients for. It's also useful when you're broke and not sure what you can even make with what you have on hand.
Hard times lead me to find out how to make hard tack!
I’ve always had difficulties using recipe search websites based on ingredients. Often I’m still missing one important ingredient, so i can’t make the suggestions. Or they try to find things with all the ingredients you fill in, which is not always useful.
A lot of ‘meals’ are also just side dishes, like honey glazed carrots or something. Which is not really something I would consider a full meal.
What website do you use?
Pretty much every time I want to make something new, I spend more time looking at recipes than actually cooking. That's why I mostly eat the same thing everyday. I make sure to save any new recipes when I like them, or else I might never find them again.
For learning to cook, YouTube is free. You can follow the recipe as you go along, pausing and rewinding as needed.
I buy many dry ingredients online. For fresh produce, you may need to substitute ingredients. I used foodsubs.com a lot when I lived in a rural area and had difficulty finding ingredients.
Yeah, I do notice if I stick to my staples, it tends to help me avoid spending way too much time searching for new recipes. But my current cookbook is rather small. (about 5 recipes I can consistently prepare). So that's why I'm looking around for new options, but it's a bit overwhelming.
Maybe I should set a specific time during the week where I can do a bit of searching, but avoid doing it on the rest of the days.
Something I like to do is make things wrong. Find out why the spice is in there by trying it without. This way i found that I like my coffee a certain way that most people advice against.
Discover for yourself and you might even learn something about yourself.
This is good advice actually. And I suppose having to eat something that is clearly missing some ingredient makes it easier to remember and do it better the next time :)
This is what I would like to try. Just setting some time aside for experimenting.
But of course I still need to eat something everyday, so it would be good to have some staples to make when I don’t have time or some experiment failed.
There are a few different apps and websites out that will find recipes based on ingredients you enter in. It's useful for ingredients you already have in the fridge or pantry, but you can also put in some ingredients you're familiar with -- even if you have to go get them (like ingredients you know you've seen before or that you've maybe purchased in the past).
This doesn't help with going down the recipe rabbit hole, but it might help give you some new ideas with familiar ingredients ❤️
Maybe make an egg? Fried, scrambled, boiled, whatever. Start small and iterate. Next time maybe make some eggs with cheese or something else. You probably have all the equipment to do this and eggs shouldn't be hard to find. Good luck!
I think it would be good to try more simple recipes. Eggs are great and I like to use them in many ways.
I think part of the issue is also how I’ve been brought up. My parents always made different meals every day and always wanted to make healthy and tasty food. But they never taught me how to cook.
So my standards are kinda high, but my actual skill is not that great.
Maybe something with potatoes? Fairly decent nutrition (though carb heavy if you care about that), cheap, and lots of ways to prep it (including forgetting about it in an oven for a couple hours with some salt on the outside wrapped in foil)
My strategy is to monetize the things I'm obsessed with doing and pay someone else to do the things I can't force myself to do
I would love to have somebody cook for me at my home and show me how to make some good easy recipes. But I suppose that would be outrageously expensive. I try cooking myself to save money in the first place :/
I was mainly thinking of getting food that is mostly prepared already and/or eating out if the price is right.
Eating out can be nice, but it does not necessarily save any time. And often it feels like a choice between either an expensive meal or something rather unhealthy