this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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Café

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Welcome to our virtual third place, The Café.

Come on in and make a new human connection over a cup of coffee (or Teh Tarik). This is a casual community, do whatever you want, share your oyen pics, your frustrations, and even organize a weekend picnic with the community. The world is your oyster.

Rules are simple, be kind and civil with each other. As with any other café, rude patrons will be kicked out.

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We all seen it happen at least once. Mention anything that touches stereotypes on our Indian community, and you will be bombarded with responses shutting down the whole conversation. Even if it is a genuine attempt to understand and learn.

Basically, "We don't talk about that"

What's most frustrating about this is not all the negative responses from people who don't even bother to read what you wrote, but the total absence of sane responses to balance it out. This is the internet, of course reactionists exist. But you would expect there should be at least some voices from the other side. In this case however, it is eerily silent.

So because no meaningful conversation can take place, people are left with their imagination, assumption, speculation.

And this piece is too is my own speculation.

How I see it is that our Indian community are very well aware that they are getting screwed, hard. Everything is falling apart, and things are fucked beyond repair. Insecurity is deep. And the very last thing they have left is their dignity, aka "face", "honour".

Left with only this thin veneer of "face" to show the world, anything that touches it becomes a personal attack. Because a little crack in the veneer and all the pent up insecurities will risk getting exposed.

Raising these topics, therefore, becomes an attempt to shame. And the only acceptable way to approach it is to not approach it at all.

Again, "We don't talk about that"

It's not just regular netizens. Even professional media people are not immune to this.

Below is a piss poor attempt by an MY Indian on the K word. Conclusion? Doesn't matter why, just don't use the word! Very disappointing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8GcttrztME

If you manage to read until this very last paragraph, I appreciate it. You are welcomed to disagree with me. Just, please, elaborate your points. We all want to know more.

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