IllegalLifeProTips

Let's say you want to earn some quick couple grands because you can't sell your house for anything above market value. At this point, you're pretty desparate. But you're smart. After some careful research, you decide to source some rocket fuel and gasoline to soak your floorboards with. Once all valuables have been removed from the property, you set up a small chemical delay reaction that will set off a chain reaction to ignite the rocket fuel mixture. The plan is a success, you planned everything immaculately and even managed to set up a convincing alibi to shield yourself from prosecution. You immediately hop onto your phone to contact the insurance company to claim a fat wad of cash. Everything went well. Or so you think.

The police are rightfully, immediately suspicious of this disaster because, obviously, a house doesn't randomly erupt in flames on a gloomy Saturday evening. There must be something more to the story. The leading investigator to the scene sends the burned debris to the crime lab for further analysis and examines and debris. He observes that, from the results of the fire has blackness the wooden construction pillars. This means that there was definitely a large amount of accelerant used, also meaning that this was no ordinary stove fire. After a few days, the results of the crime lab have returned. You see, the main byproducts of the combustion of gasoline and rocket fuel (e.g: nitromethane) should be carbon dioxide, water and nitrogen oxides ONLY IF the reaction is done in an atmosphere of sufficient oxygen. In the case of housefires, where space is compact and limited, this is often not the case. There would be evident amounts of single chained alkanes, which indicate incomplete combustion of gasoline and traces of nitromethane vapours, which requires much more energy to burn.

The next few hours of investigation yielded your internet search history and purchases made online for the chemicals. Obviously enough evidence for your prosecution. You thought you were smart but as it turns out, the police were smarter.

So, how do you get away with insurance fraud?

First off, don't post about it online. This includes bluffing or joking about claiming insurance. The last thing you need is someone keeping an eye on you. Next, let your mailbox fill up. This sounds silly but it gives an impression that you don't care about keeping tidy. Also, start piling large amounts of paper like read newspapers, advertisements, cheap books picked up from the second hand, all over the dining table, rooms. The general idea is to make your house look as messy as you possibly can. Make it appear as if you have truly let go of yourself.

Buy alcohol, pick up empty booze bottle from the street and place them in the house. Try to make your whole house smell like it! Let your grass grow long. No caring for your garden. After say, 1 month, buy some gasoline from the gas station. Wheel your lawnmower out in the yard. Leave an opened bottle of vodka on its side and let the liquid drip out. Do this with multiple bottles. Then take the gasoline and casually drip some on the front door and all over the lawn mower. (This is to appear that you're really r e a l l y drunk.) Take a lighter and set fire to the vodka spill. Grab a bottle on your way out, chugging down its contents as you go. Pass out on your front lawn as someone notices the blaze and dials 911. Meanwhile you're out cold with a strong blood alcohol reading.

The story is, you got some complaints from neighbours complaining about how messy your lawn was so you decided to mow it once and for all. Along the way, you decided to have a can before working but got carried away and got drunk and passed out on the lawn. You do not know why your house suddenly went on fire. You keep repeating that your lucky to be alive.

Tl;Dr Think like a dumbass when planning insurance fraud. You never know when it will save your ass.