this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2024
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There’s a flip side to this. And full disclosure, I’m a guy trying to be part of the solution.
The flip is that guys are assumed to be dangerous. That’s the default. And yeah, some guys are dangerous, but imagine if every time you met someone new they flinched back when you tried to shake their hand. Every. Single. Time. Would you continue to try to shake hands? Or would you shy away from meeting new people?
Now, obviously that example is an extreme. Virtually no one has that happen, but we see similar communicated all the time. Women crossing the street because they don’t want to walk in front of a guy. People suspicious of a man at a park just watching his kid. Etc.
I’m not saying women don’t have a right to feel nervous, or even that they are wrong to feel the way they do. I’m just pointing out that being treated like I could explode at any moment wears on my soul. And being told “this isn’t about you” really doesn’t change much about how it makes me feel.
I'm not sure you're understanding the situation. Imagine if 1 out of 10 dogs you approached were aggressive, would you feel happy around dogs? Or would you protect yourself?
You're fully aware that women are taking actions are protecting themselves, so why are you taking this personally? Why not just be understanding?
Everything about the post was him talking about how he's understanding but it hurts us to be treated that way by default as well. Did you even fucking read it?
I don't think you read it. He is suggesting that women reacting to actual real danger is damaging to him. If he understood then it wouldn't be hurtful.
Do you get upset when a strange child is scared of you? Of course not, because you understand that new people are scary to children.