TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name
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I see a different reason Romulans are so upset. The Romulans and Vulcans were one people at one point with the major split being the Vulcans embracing logic and rejecting the hot-blooded and passionate Romulans. So millennia later do the Vulcans soften and embrace their emotion-having brothers? No. They find these other hot-blooded and passionate creatures called humans and then work patiently to shepherd them and their "Federation of Planets" into dominance in the Alpha quadrant of the galaxy all while still keeping Romulans at arms length. That would leave me bitter too.
I dunno', seems like the difference between teaching a curious child in the humans vs teaching a smartass knowitall in the Romulans. Still kinda' makes sense why they cannot kiss and make up.
Romulans didn't need to be taught. They were always technological equals (possibly superiors if you count cloaking). Yet instead of making amends with an equal, Vulcans chose to embrace the neophyte humans and grow them to technological equality instead of embracing their brother and sister Romulans.
The technology is a side-effect. The thing the Vulcans want to teach is their philosophy.
That didn't work out so well with humans.
Didn't it? Not that humans became straight up Vulcans, but Vulcans did want to get the benefits of humanity's drive without the parts where we nuke each other. Most Vulcans in the 24th century would probably consider this plan a success.
Humanity had already made it through its nuclear wars. So what Vulcan philosophy did humanity embrace through this "teaching"?
That's a very good question. I'm not sure we can discern a specific answer from canon. Rather, we infer it based on Vulcan intentions in the 22nd century and the end results in the 24th.
The canon events of Enterprise seems to suggest very little went the way the Vulcans intended for humanity. At the beginning of the series, it was the Vulcans in the leadership role over humanity, while by the end of the series, it was humanity in the leadership role with the creation of starfleet.