this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2024
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ADHD
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When I was in college (a few decades ago), I was quite athletic, but once, I participated in a little marathon. 20 minutes in, I realized this was dumb & just walked back to the starting point. I still remember my thoughts - like why am I chugging along, rattling my entire being, & for what purpose, it's just boring & pointless. I think with ADHD, we're always calculating effort applied & reward received, & exercise is hard to justify. I haven't run for fun ever.
Yeah, every time I try to use any exercise equipment I get ANGRY. I feel WORSE than I did beforehand. No sense of accomplishment, no endorphines, just irritation
If I go for a walk where I can explore for miles, I'm happy. Dancing also makes my brain tingle. I get more joy out of vacuuming and other housework than a tredmil or elliptical machine.
F THAT! Feels pointless and I can't seem to convince myself otherwise. Same for running. It's meh unless I'm trying to get somewhere fast (and I already speed walk as it is)