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Try Baikal, it's a pretty lightweight CalDAV server!
Any client I use it with supports notifications, however it should also be able to send emails for you (e.g. Its scheduling feature).
I had Baikal running for a while, there's no notifications on the server side.
Scheduling is not the same as event notifications. At that link you provided, that refers to sending email invitations to participants in an event. Those get sent immediately at the event's creation, it's kind of an RSVP system.
I need a client that can send an email at a specified time before the event starts.
You are right. I've some experience with tweaking Baikal's code, maybe you can implement that notifications feature yourself? The code isn't perfect and could be simplified... but it doesn't seem very hard to implement what you're looking for given their architecture.
Any coding is well above my skill level. Thank you, though.