this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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[โ€“] Saltblue@lemmy.world 21 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (10 children)

My mother is a steel woman, rational and calm, no bitching, no crying, there is a problem? fix it. You need something? say it, don't expect others to guess. Words are empty, you care? See what that person needs and help them. Not a fan of corny things, you want love? There is this delicious food, and a hug, now grow up and keep going.

Aaand everything she taught me, has put me at odds with every women I have dated.

[โ€“] rosymind@leminal.space 7 points 11 months ago

They key is to do both. Listen intentently, respond with something like "wow that sucks, would you like a hug?" And then while hugging say something like "is there anything I can do to help you with this?"

That's what will give you your answer. If she says "no" then just let it be. If she says "I don't know" help to guide her to the solution. Ask "what do you think could be done to make it better?" And let the pieces fall in place.

Even if you know the answer, it's better to let people come up with it on their own. They'll feel understood and empowered, and you won't get shit on for being calous. Everyone wins

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