I won't claim apartments are for everyone. There's no denying that you just cannot have the kind of yard that a detached or semi-detached house offers. At best, some apartments or neighbourhoods have community gardens and it's also more common that you'd have access to broader parks (which you can't garden in, but you can enjoy city managed gardens and generally have more space for activities).

I personally don't find privacy a concern with well made apartments. Well made ones have good sound isolation. I don't usually hear my neighbours. But admittedly not every apartment is well made.

You can buy apartments (usually in the form of a condo), so you can make certain kinds of improvements. Yeah, it's not quite the same level of customization (like windows as you mention). You certainly can make plumbing changes (e.g., if you want a nicer bathtub), though there may be some reasonable rules to protect the rest of the building from being flooded if you don't use a licensed professional.

Many modern apartments do have places to charge EVs. You'll probably pay extra for them, but they're likely to become the norm for every parking space as EVs become more prominent. But one of the biggest boons of apartments is not needing a car in the first place! With detached homes, you simply can't have everyone close enough together for efficient public transit. With apartments, you can live in desirable areas and close to high frequency transit stations without having to be rich.

Some newer apartments do have solar panels. I wouldn't be surprised if most people saved money on electricity with apartments, though. Home solar panels take a while to break even. Newer apartments usually have central boilers and chillers, which massively reduce the cost of heating and AC, which are very energy intensive.

Again, I won't claim it's for everyone. Some people really are better off dealing with the downsides of having a house (which typically will mean being far away from everything and either having to drive or having mediocre transit). But I would argue that for most people, the downsides of apartments are simply worth it. How many people actually want to change plumbing or windows? How many want to garden (beyond the amount a balcony allows)? Don't forget the benefits, too. Stuff like living in more desirable areas (especially where you no longer need a car -- that's a massive expense removed), having amenities like a gym, pool, or rec room, if renting, not having to deal with maintenance, and better views.

I'm also not sure how well off you are, but honestly, for many people of my generation, the only way they can afford a place to live is with either an apartment or living in undesirable areas. Detached homes in the cities people want to live in are straight up out of reach for many younger people. Or as John Oliver put it in an episode about HOAs:

“Our main story tonight concerns home ownership, so if you are under 35, honestly, this story isn’t for you,” Oliver said. “It’ll never be for you. You will never own a home. Sorry, that is the deal that you made when you decided to be born after 1988.”