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It's nuts to me that the incel movement was started by a woman.
I was around back when the Red Pill subreddit was first getting off the ground. It used to be quite sane, a safe space for men. Venting was allowed, but misogyny was not (in a similar way to how you put up with a woman saying "all men are trash" when she's in the post breakup anger phase). But eventually, the tidal wave of misogynistic men overthrew the sane ones, and it became what it's known for now.
Why are people speaking of incels as if that's some kind of club you need to apply for membership? Isn't it by definition something you're part of against your own will? That's like talking about people under 6ft tall as some sort of secret society plotting the takeover of the world.
I think it's like racists. Whether one wants to be one or not is not tied with being one or not. That doesn't mean they all have one secret handshake
Lots of them do like to flock with other racists, though. And follow racist speech online. It's kind of an emergent club in a way.
As with any shared POV