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But oatmeal has fiber and I thought people liked fiber in their internet.
Secret Panel HERE 🍪 https://tapas.io/episode/2591128
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
tails: A Place for Mastodon Posts
355 readers
1 users here now
A virtual community
Posts from Mastodon users, featured natively in a community, so you can view them without the need for them to be re-hosted or screenshoted, and reply to the original author and Mastodon respondents if you wish.
Has so far included content from Warsandpeas, Mr. Lovenstein, SMBC, Loading Artist, Low Quality Facts, nixCraft, ElleGray, and other interesting or provocative stuff I've random'd across on Mastodon.
Supported:
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Posts, Downvotes, & PD's Automod
founded 9 months ago
MODERATORS
52
Image description: Installation progress bar running for software upgrade of the Under Armour running shoes
(Originally published earlier today on mstdn.social)
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(title changed for lemmy). orig txt:
As seen on Bluesky
Image description: A meme with two halves showing Paul Atreides and Paul, a tradie
Paul Atreides appears as the movie in a stilsuit. Paul, a tradie has the same photo except his is wearing orange-hi-vis, servo sunnies, has a smoke and winnie blues in his pocket and a carrying a monster energy drink. He is saying “Yeah nah she’s rooted mate, gunna be a big job"
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.oysta.au)
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Image description: 4 panel comic about the truth of the moonlanding. 1. A NASA press conference about the moon landing. The speaker says, "One small step for man, one giant leap for poledancing." 2. A confused journalist raises his arm and asks, "Don't you mean mankind?" 3. The speaker answers, "No." 4. An astronaut pole dances around the American flag.
(Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-03-03)
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(title added). Original text:
excuse me
Image description: Wiktionary page for the word "windfucker"
There is an image of a common kestrel, a small bird of prey, hovering in mid-air, labeled:
"A windfucker or common kestrel (Falco tinnunculus; sense 1) in flight"
(Originally published on todon.nl: 2022-04-30)
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(title added for lemmy)
Image description: A conversation between the OP and the official Amazon Prime Video account. The OP says "How's your Monday, unknown social media manager person?" which the social media manager at Prime Video responded with "I think im depressed lmao". Not long after, Prime Video responded again contradicting the previous message, saying "Hi! Vicky here, Managing Director of Socials for Amazon Prime Video. Apologies for the last message; that was an accident and will not be happening again. We are having a fabulous Monday and hope you are as well!".
(Originally published earlier today on wetdry.world)
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Original text:
Persuader http://smbc-comics.com/comic/persuade (go here for bonus panel) #smbc #hiveworks #comics #webcomics #ai
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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The Macintosh SE will rear up and expose its extra floppy drives if it feels threatened
(files.bitbang.social)
Image description: A photo of a very tall Macintosh SE, with five floppy drives. It looks a bit surprised.
(Originally published earlier today on bitbang.social)
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Image description: Sign at Heathrow says "The Queen's Terminal"
(Originally published earlier today on essjax.com)
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(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.world)
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Just casually came across this help wanted ad on Craigslist and now I feel the need to write a Home Alone reboot or call the FBI
(files.mastodon.social)
Image description: < prev 213/8,491 next >
Actress needed to pretend to be my mom on Zoom
a day ago • New York
tv/film/video/radio
Hiring an actress in 30-40s to be on zoom with my professor to give me "mothers consent" to stay in a country post school trip. More details once you are hired. It is a very easy job I will pay 100-200$ for 15 min of the zoom call.
WEST VILLAGE
compensation: 100-200$ for a zoom call for 15 min
employment type: part-time
job title: Actor
(Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-03-02)
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Image description: A bottle of Ibuprofen containing 1000 tablets.
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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(title added by mod for lemmy community)
(Originally published earlier today on thecanadian.social)
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Image description: Image saying
Why I didn't text you back:
I was asleep
I was driving
I was ignoring you
I forgot
I saw your text and told myself I was going to respond , but I wanted to finish what I was doing first. After that, I got sidetracked and went to do something else and completely forgot your text even existed because I was stuck in my own tiny world until I went to text you days or even weeks later about something completely unrelated.
(Originally published earlier today on hachyderm.io)
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(title added by mod for lemmy). Original text:
Ketchup on eggs?!?
See the animated version here! https://youtube.com/shorts/zXsgzL0qcwc
#comics #breakfast #funny
Image description: [two people are sitting at a table, eating breakfast.]
Person 1: You're putting ketchup on eggs?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Gross, that looks horrible. Person 2: Thanks.
Person 1: You're actually going to eat it?! Person 2: What did you think was going to happen?
Person 1: But I said I don't like it!
Person 2: Okay, so maybe don't eat any of my food.
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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18
THIS is how you get butts back in theater seats – you respect the CLASSICS
(files.mastodon.social)
Image description: star wars the phantom menace 25th anniversary movie poster hooray
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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83
This map shows the share of the European population that has (as of 2021) never (!) used the internet
(o.mastodon.au)
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.au)
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(title added by lemmy community mod)
(Originally published earlier today on mstdn.social)
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Image description: Catalog photo of a woman with long wavy brown hair wearing a ridiculous cropped "shirt" that is just made from the top portion of a pair of denim overalls over a white cropped tank top with white jeans, all on a white background
(Originally published earlier today on beige.party)
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Scooby Doo was here earlier and he didn't have a problem with my burgers!
Secret Panel HERE 🍔 https://tapas.io/episode/3111597
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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Image description: Picture of a label with ingredients that has clearly been translated using machine translation: "soy protein" has been translated as "je suis proteine"
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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Image description: 1 Person with little girl rings bell: Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.
2 Angel in heaven: My wings! This is the best day ever!
3 Girl takes bell and furiously rings it: I love you angel!
4 Angel, with dozens of wings protruding out of his body: The pain!
(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-02-25)
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(title added for lemmy by mod)
Image description: 4 panel Loading Artist comic. 1: Blue guy stands behind Red guy playing a game on the couch "oh it's a SINGLE-PLAYER game?". 2: Blue guy scoffs "no thanks. Single-player games feel too lonely". 3: Blue guy puts on gamer headset "that's why I only play MULTIPLAYER games". 4: Blue guy happily at his PC, while tweaking his game settings Voice Chat: OFF, Text Chat: OFF, Friend Requests: OFF.
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.world)
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Image description: Red Riding Hood whipping the big bad wolf saying, "This is for Grandma!"
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
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I can recreate similar results in any mirror with enough alcohol.
Secret Panel HERE 🙃 https://tapas.io/episode/3109210
(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)
