Sadly, this is not the Onion.

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For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

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126
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Teenaged Orcas sinking boats for fun. (www.usatoday.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/scarlettohara1936 on 2024-05-24 17:18:14.
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Arizona lawmaker says ChatGPT helped draft new deepfakes law (thehill.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/indig0sixalpha on 2024-05-24 16:24:52.
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'Montreal is pretty safe,' police say after 7 homicides in 10 days (montreal.ctvnews.ca)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/sqwuee on 2024-05-24 14:31:00.
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Priest bites woman's hand during altercation over Holy Communion, officials say (abcnews.go.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/TricksterWolf on 2024-05-24 14:02:36.
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Family stricken with rare brain worms after eating undercooked bear (arstechnica.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Similar_Rutabaga_593 on 2024-05-24 13:47:32.
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Woman Arrested For Battering Man. With A Cinnamon Roll. (www.thesmokinggun.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/AgentBlue62 on 2024-05-24 13:42:08.
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New Windows AI feature records everything you’ve done on your PC (arstechnica.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/mj281 on 2024-05-24 13:27:02.

They’re calling spyware a “feature”

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City of Sturgeon: Officer 'acted within his authority' when shooting, killing small deaf and blind dog (www.komu.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/stayslow on 2024-05-24 13:13:07.
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Ryanair passengers at centre of public alert over highly contagious measles risk (www.independent.ie)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/sonicated on 2024-05-24 08:23:56.
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Spotify dropping support for “Car Thing” — Suggests throwing it away. (support.spotify.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Remember-The-Arbiter on 2024-05-24 03:39:44.
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Pope clears way for 'God's influencer' to become a saint (www.bbc.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/yaredw on 2024-05-24 02:53:28.
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Prime Minister Narendra Modi convinced to be 'emissary of God', questions his biological origins (www.telegraphindia.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/EverSoInfinite on 2024-05-24 01:13:03.
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OpenAI to start using news content from News Corp. as part of a multiyear deal (abcnews.go.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/thieh on 2024-05-24 00:30:15.
139
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Clarence Thomas attacks Brown v. Education ruling amid 70th anniversary (www.axios.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/engadine_maccas1997 on 2024-05-23 20:59:15.
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North Carolina House pauses passage of bill that would ban masking for health reasons (apnews.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Stank_Dukem on 2024-05-23 20:16:18.
141
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Pope clears way for 'God's influencer' to become a saint (www.bbc.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/moodytenure on 2024-05-23 19:43:54.
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California woman fined $88K after kids collect clams from Pismo Beach (abc11.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Sandstorm400 on 2024-05-23 17:53:45.
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Google Is Paying Reddit $60 Million for Fucksmith to Tell Its Users to Eat Glue (www.404media.co)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/indig0sixalpha on 2024-05-23 16:49:02.
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Fish and Game kills 4 bears in East Anchorage campground that city repurposed for the homeless (www.adn.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/kellenbrent on 2024-05-23 15:57:08.
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A lawsuit accuses Hershey's of using 'deceptive' packaging on Reese's products (www.npr.org)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Droluk1 on 2024-05-23 15:45:35.
146
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AI feature that takes screenshots of your Windows PC under investigation by UK watchdog — 'privacy nightmare' (www.gbnews.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/thieh on 2024-05-23 15:26:06.
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Prime Minister Narendra Modi convinced to be 'emissary of God', questions his biological origins (www.telegraphindia.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/jdjdhzjalalfufux on 2024-05-23 15:14:12.
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The Billionaire Family Business: 50 Billionaire Clans Have Already Spent Over $600 Million on the 2024 Elections, Mostly to Preserve Their Fortunes (americansfortaxfairness.org)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Loud-Ad-2280 on 2024-05-23 14:48:54.
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Prime Minister Narendra Modi convinced to be 'emissary of God', questions his biological origins (www.telegraphindia.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/IowasBestCornShucker on 2024-05-23 14:18:25.
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US embassy refuses to pay £14.6m London congestion charge bill (news.sky.com)
submitted 5 months ago by bOt@zerobytes.monster to c/nottheonion@zerobytes.monster
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/LivinInBliss on 2024-05-23 12:49:29.
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