(This turned into a bit of a wall of text, so I hid the longer paragraphs in spoiler tags with a "TL;DR" as the label)
Definitely sounds like a tough one to find, unfortunately. The one I found was willing to assess me as an adult white man for AuDHD, and I believe he had some adult women as patients, but I don't know if he would know how to approach an adult diagnosis for a high masking woman.
TL;DR: if you can find anyone who diagnoses adults, consider checking them out and bringing thorough cross-sectional notes with yours/others experiences and the DSM-V.
All I can offer in suggestion is from my own experience, which will hopefully be close enough to yours to be of use. See if you can find anyone at all who has experience with adult diagnosis and seems credible, and if you do, consider bringing thorough notes. Comparisons between your experience and the DSM-V criteria. Comparisons between your experience and other AuDHD women. Comparisons other AuDHD women share between their experience and the diagnostic criteria. If you're prepared enough, even if it's outside of their explicit area of expertise, they'll hopefully be open to seeing your perspective and broaden their understanding of presentations of autism and ADHD. It sucks that you'd have to do that, but if anyone is equipped to accurately describe their own psychological profile.
TL;DR: I didn't bring many notes but did mention comparisons to others' experiences. Bringing more notes would have been authentic. Authenticity theoretically improves assessment results, and thorough notes gives more to go on.
I didn't bring notes for all of this (I did for comparison between my experience and the DSM-V though), but IIRC I did talk about comparisons between my experience and those of autistic/ADHD individuals who shared their stories. I mentioned that I associate with other neurodivergent folks and other indirect clues towards neurodivergence. I think I was concerned that bringing too much in the way of preparation could affect their assessment, but in retrospect, it's one of those situations where you just sort of have to trust they'll take your fully authentic self seriously, even if that means bringing a stack of reference material thicker than a doctoral candidate's thesis.
On a related note, if you haven't seen this list of resources linked in the sidebar yet, there's some interesting stuff in there. I know that Yo Samdy Sam, the last YouTube channel linked there, is an adult-diagnosed AuDHD woman. Her experience might be relatable/a useful reference point.
For what it's worth, you seem genuine to me. And from my understanding, the vast majority of people who seek a diagnosis in good faith and put forth the effort to understand the condition well enough to tentatively self-diagnose are correct in their assessment. With or without diagnosis, if you have done the legwork and feel it's a strong possibility, you're welcome to consider yourself included.
In my admittedly limited and likely biased experience, progressives and further left tend to be more critical in the way they approach authority figures. The GOP is just pissed they can't as easily indoctrinate younger generations into fighting against their own interests.
I've heard it said several times, the GOP tends to say the opposite of what they mean. "college kids are being indoctrinated" = "umm, guys, we're having a hard time indoctrinating the college kids..."