IvyRaven

Up and down. Anxiety, at least one auto immune disorder (likely another one or two since I have like no energy fairly often), no job (see: anxiety), no friends (see: everything else), and when I stop and let the thoughts start up or if something really sets me back I spiral into a depressive hole. All and all it's okay right now. Everything sucks but I'm making the best of it and most days are more middle ground than anything. Thankfully I live with my mom and she is supportive of me and just wants to help me find happiness (she sees it as repaying a shitty childhood). I try to not abuse her generosity so I cook for her and help her with stuff.

Last year I suffered a lot of social loss and had become extremely isolated due to it. Over the last year I've been trying to do more of me and found a lot more good in my life while doing that. I'm still extremely isolated outside of interacting with my mom but it doesn't bother me like it once did. So now I do the things I want to do when I want to do them and not waste time and/or energy looking for friends, groups, etc (especially when they'll ditch me later and destroy my life in the process, this has happened with every friend/group my entire 40 years of living).

Basically I'm doing me and it's been really nice. I'm getting back into Warhammer 40,000 (40k), enjoying my time in World of Warcraft, and all around much happier while doing many of my previous activities like watching anime.

Seeing it again yeah lol

For me a lot of meltdowns feel like spiraling. Unable to communicate how I feel, feeling alone/separated, racing thoughts that run the gamete from anxious to depressing. Typically I want to reach out and connect to someone but I can't and that makes it worse somehow. It's scary to deal with especially as a lot of it feels so irrational yet it has a real impact.

Luckily haven't had it on the top of the foot, but I've banged the bottom of my foot on stuff to try to itch it. Deep in the foot itch and unfortunately the stuff I do never helps for very long.

I get this, but in my feet. Just have to rub the bottom of my foot on something and hope for the best. Suuuuucks.

He's a fine kicker, but an absolute chud and I hate they gave him all that money.

Always over explain. Then apologize for over explaining. Have to give contest to everything so the explanation makes more sense.

Nice debunked conspiracy theories pushed by the GOP to vilify the 'other'. I'd say try harder but you're clearly a tool of the fascists.

Yes! Educating people on the value of Blue Jays and trying to dispell the myths about them is important. Know my mom constantly is telling coworkers and others about how the Blue Jays get a bad rap. The ones around us have a mile plus wide communication network that gets the word out about predators and food being available. Kind of cool to hear them if you're on a walk and then see the hawk they're chasing/warning about.

No experience with that book, but a lot of literature has autistim coded characters. Lot, well sort of, debate in the Warhammer 40k communities about a fair number of autism coded characters there. I can't remember who all they've said since I avoid a lot of the conversations but if I remember right a fair number of Space Marines, and their 'traitor' brethren are 'autistic'.

This sentiment always makes me laugh. We have a large family or three that live in the area and hang out on our feeder and water. They get pushed around by the morning doves, woodpeckers and sparrows. Cardinals and house finches spaz out on their own and fly off.