Well that depends on your definition of curved... If I look at this image from a 3 dimensional coordinate system that includes the sphere, the edges are definitely curved. Of course, if you look at this from the coordinate system "surface of the sphere" then I would agree with you. There are 2 ways to look at this and decide if it is a triangle, and the bro you responded to didn't understand this and needs it explained.
First thing in any relationship: your own happiness. You're young, so you probably still have indoctrinated love ideas a la Disney, eternal love, total self sacrifice and all that bullshit. It's feel-good nonsense.
I repeat: the absolute first priority in any relationship is your own happiness. Does it help anybody that she has chronic pain and is unhappy, and now you're unhappy too? Obviously not, it would be, from a total utilitarian perspective, a much better situation if she was unhappy and you were happy. Total happiness would have increased.
What this means is: you can only support her as much as you are comfortable with it. Like seriously, what is the alternative? Like you say right now, that you're so emotionally drained that the relationship ends? Then the situation would be even worse: she wouldn't get any support at all anymore. What's better, the little support you can give without sacrificing your own happiness, or no support? Obviously the little support.
Now if that is "enough" for her, that is for her to decide. She might decide that she wants a partner that can support her more. Obviously it's a huge gamble, there aren't many people who can deal with a lot of negativity all the time.
Of course, the initial rant about Disney love comes from somewhere. Your thought of being so self-sacrificingly supporting was instilled in you from somewhere. Likely you and people around you think that it's the "good" thing to do. They would be wrong, but that won't stop them from giving you shit probably in the way of "oh how could you be so evil and stop supporting your poor poor girlfriend". This is, in my opinion, abuse. Yes, she has it harder. Is thus your happiness unimportant? Obviously not. But it may be laid out as if it were.
In summary: listen to yourself. Focus on your own happiness. Do only as much as you can. Explain to her why. Tell her everything you think, everything you feel. If she loves you, she won't want to pull you down with her. And the funny, ironic, unintuitive thing will be, once you focus on yourself and are more happy you will also again be able to support her much better. Take your rest, take a break, don't support her when it pulls you down. Be assertive about your own needs, even if she has it worse.
I agree. But is a statement like "everyone in hexbear is insane" helpful in any way at all in this situation? The only thing it serves is to further any divide and cause more hostility.
The times I went there with differing opinions I never got insulted. They think their views are right and (sometimes) mine wrong. They also shared their reasons and tried in their way to educate me. They have their own culture over there that is more rude/direct than normal, but it's certainly possible to speak normally to them.
I think all people deserve respect by default. Only through someone's actions may the respect for them be rescinded. Calling a whole bunch of people something is just almost never correct and only furthers any already existing divide.
You can do these things while talking face-to-face with somebody.
Calling a whole bunch of different people with different opinions than you, that you don't all know, "insane", seems to me like you feel you are smarter/better than them.
They're not insane, they're just victims of tribal thinking like the rest of us. Very narrow worldview reinforced by the others around them, bashing outsiders, thinking "they" are smarter than everyone else. Mostly, they see themselves as good and everyone else as bad, which isn't very unique among humans either. I don't think hexbear is worse than anywhere else.
You're doing the same right now probably.
Wow, why is it so hard for you to say what the problem is? It's going to be a bit hard to get any advice.
I assume you wanted children but are sterile? You can still adopt. Even if that's not what you mean, there are always alternatives in some way that let you achieve what you want, maybe not exactly like you imagined it, but a similar thing.
Everyone else already has said the "general" stuff that can be said without getting any more information from you. If you really want help, you should be ready to share some more information and answer questions people have, as well as answer people's comments with sharing your true thoughts, not holding back like you did in your main post.
In the end, how do you get over this? You understand rationally that you can never plan the future 100%. You understand that once people achieve a goal/plan, they don't become happy, they just try to achieve a new goal/plan. To become happy, you have to be happy with what you currently have, no matter what that is.
You don't have to have an identity to live. Identity is irrelevant. It's a thought-up human concept that in the grand scheme of things has no meaning. What does it matter what your identity was 100 years from now? 1000 years from now? A million years from now?
And once you rationally understand these things, you have to convince your subconscious of them as well, which is much harder and requires lots of practice.
I will update the instance list. I have a script that parses lemmyverse.net data and updates the list within the script, but I need to run it manually.
Generally all issues/requests can be added in https://gitlab.com/azzurite/lemmy-universal-link-switcher/-/issues. There is no Lemmy community for it. How did you find this? I had like 3 people suddenly write on this year old thread.
When you open a link from somewhere else, a "Show on home instance" link will be added to the top bar. Only within the browser will it automatically replace links.
I so far only support Lemmy. No one has made any other requests. So if not /c/ is used, it doesn't know how to handle communities.
Seeing that so many people agree with this in this thread makes me very sad :(
I'm thankful this is not what my life is like...
Obviously, start with a midas
Mute your team, because they neither understand your hero, nor the game
Choose your mantra: A) Haste makes waste; B) Soon ripe, soon rotten; C) Rome wasn't built in a day
Hit a strong timing at 17:50: some damage and attack speed is all you need. Time for our first interaction with other heroes (don't sweat if they walk away, your time will come...)
You carried your team so far, now it's time to show the enemy who's boss
It's fine to re-assess your item choices. Of course you didn't make a mistake, but a new situation calls for new solutions
Make sure to jungle between fights, to keep up your farm
Your time is valuable, don't even waste a second
289
Annoyed by Lemmy links not going to your home instance? I just updated LULs, the script that changes all Lemmy links everywhere to your home instance!
(greasyfork.org)
If you didn't already know about it, I included the full description after the release notes.
Release 1.3.0
- You can now add multiple secondary instances: so if you, like me, also have an account on lemmynsfw.com (or of course any other instance), you can add that there and not have links rewritten for that instance
- You can manually enter your home instance. Useful for self-hosted instances that didn't show up in my instance list.
Full Description Below:
Description
Lemmy Universal Link Switcher, or LULs for short, scans all links on all websites, and if any link points to a Lemmy instance that is not your main/home instance, it rewrites the link so that it instead points to your main instance.
Also works on Firefox Android with the Tampermonkey extension!
Features
Rewrite links to Lemmy posts/comments to point to your home instance. Only after hovering over them, because getting home posts/comments links require communicating with the Lemmy servers, and we don't want to spam the servers.
Instantly rewrite all links of community or user links to Lemmy/kbin on all websites everywhere to your new instance! The rewritten links will have an icon next to it, and hovering/touching the icon will show you the original link, allowing you to go there if you want to.
If you are already on a page that has a corresponding page on your home instance, a link will automatically be added to the page header.
Home Instance Setup
Simply visit the Lemmy instance you want to set as your home while the script is active. You will be asked if you want to set this instance to your home instance:
Settings
If you want to change your home instance or add secondary instances in case you have multiple accounts, simply go to the script settings, accessible within Violent/Tampermonkey directly, or alternatively within any Lemmy instances' settings.
Common Issues
- Does not work with Greasemonkey. Use Violentmonkey (open source) or Tampermonkey (closed source) instead.
Coming soon
- Rewrite kbin post/comment links
- Better rewriting support for kbin community/user urls (e.g. sort options are currently ignored)
- Nicer tooltip styling (fit into page theme)
- Signify that "Show at home" button is loading for posts/comments
- Integrate with lmmy.to redirector
18
[UserScript] LULs, the script that changes all Lemmy links to your home instance, now has support for more than one home instance!
(greasyfork.org)
Release 1.3.0
- You can now add multiple secondary instances: so if you, like me, also have an account on lemmynsfw.com (or of course any other instance), you can add that there and not have links rewritten for that instance
- You can manually enter your home instance. Useful for self-hosted instances that didn't show up in my instance list.
Full Description Below:
Description
Lemmy Universal Link Switcher, or LULs for short, scans all links on all websites, and if any link points to a Lemmy instance that is not your main/home instance, it rewrites the link so that it instead points to your main instance.
Also works on Firefox Android with the Tampermonkey extension!
Features
-
Rewrite links to Lemmy posts/comments to point to your home instance. Only after hovering over them, because getting home posts/comments links require communicating with the Lemmy servers, and we don't want to spam the servers.
-
Instantly rewrite all links of community or user links to Lemmy/kbin on all websites everywhere to your new instance! The rewritten links will have an icon next to it, and hovering/touching the icon will show you the original link, allowing you to go there if you want to.
-
If you are already on a page that has a corresponding page on your home instance, a link will automatically be added to the page header.
Home Instance Setup
Simply visit the Lemmy instance you want to set as your home while the script is active. You will be asked if you want to set this instance to your home instance:
Settings
If you want to change your home instance or add secondary instances in case you have multiple accounts, simply go to the script settings, accessible within Violent/Tampermonkey directly, or alternatively within any Lemmy instances' settings.
Common Issues
- Does not work with Greasemonkey. Use Violentmonkey (open source) or Tampermonkey (closed source) instead.
Coming soon
- Rewrite kbin post/comment links
- Better rewriting support for kbin community/user urls (e.g. sort options are currently ignored)
- Nicer tooltip styling (fit into page theme)
- Signify that "Show at home" button is loading for posts/comments
- Integrate with lmmy.to redirector
Can somebody please explain this? I don't get it :(