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Um mass murder, theft, paying prostitutes. Kcd

Sending trained monkeys to murder scores of balloons.

I killed a man named Tengu and stole his mask.

Destroy a bi-pedal tank and escape via snowmobile.

Brotato. The aliens won and they are arresting my 6-armed, starchy ass for killing tons of them.

Refusing to play scramblecoin.

Filling my o2 tanks, taking out the trash, and monitoring a tree’s nutrient levels. With a headless dead guy in the middle of the floor the whole time. Only reporting the dead guy afterwards unless someone walks in on me doing so first.

My normal co-workers will even vouch that I do that kind of thing regularly so it’s not even suspicious. It’s just me being weird.

… I’ll be getting the death sentence for that eventually.

Theft of hats and sunglasses from many denizens on the beach, in the forest and on the mountain.

Ig I'm under arrest for the murder of multiple military personnel, destruction of company property, animal abuse, possession of illegal firearms, theft, trespassing, and many many other crimes. (Half-Life 1)

Collecting animals against their wills and forcing them to fight each other with guns then collecting their fluids and oils

illegal trespassing, genocide, destruction of nature and public property, murder, inflicted torture, and 94 other charges

Balatro? Idk counting cards?

Murder, assault, battery, racketeering, however they charge it when you rig sporting events for cash (might be more racketeering, idk), I'm getting sued for violating several multimillion dollar contracts and probably a couple wrongful deaths, all before halftime (which is when the murders kick into high gear)

I genuinely don't know what could be illegal in Outer Wilds, tbh.

Mass murder with the use of explosive devices (and punching people to death (and throwing some of them off cliffs)).

Racing through heavy traffic like an utter sociopath with not only a death wish for myself but also for everybody else on the road.

Which you know, sigh is how people with cool cars tend to drive in real life and I always see them fly by on the highway and am like “Why the hell aren’t you doing this in a video game??”. When you hit a car in a video game at 80mph no one dies, turns out that doing this in real life tends to actually kill people though weirdly.

Just the loudness alone of cool cars all souped up with custom painfully loud exhaust is absolutely insufferable from a noise pollution standpoint. What assholes lol.

I get why people find it fun though….. which is why I have a blast doing it in a video game.

Adopting wild dinosaurs/Animal hoarding... Paleo Pines. It's like the rated G version of ARK. I've got 45 super cute dinosaurs, but because this is a game, I'm rich enough to be able to give them wonderful lives!

i play gloomstalker rogue with criminal background in bg3, so my list of crimes would be pretty deep.

Korok abuse