Not the Onion

2142 readers

119 users here now

For true stories that are so ridiculous, that you could have sworn it was an !theonion worthy story.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Customs and Border Protection's top doctor tried to order fentanyl lollipops for helicopter trip to U.N (www.cbsnews.com)

submitted 8 months ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/nottheonion@lemmy.ml

8 comments fedilink hide all child comments

The chief medical officer for the Customs and Border Protection agency repeatedly asked staff members to order fentanyl lollipops for him to take on a helicopter mission to the United Nations in New York City in Sept. 2023, according to a whistleblower report by the Government Accountability Project.

The report was shared with Congress on Friday morning, and stated that Chief Medical Officer Dr. Alexander Eastman allegedly "spent copious hours of his and Office of the Chief Medical Officer staff time directing the OCMO staff to urgently help him procure fentanyl lollipops, a Schedule II narcotic, so that he could bring them on the CBP Air and Marine Operations helicopter on which he would be a passenger in New York City."

Fentanyl is a synthetic opioid and painkiller driving the overdose crisis in the United States. Fentanyl lollipops are an oral version of the drug, and are used to treat pain, according to the Drug Enforcement Agency. Chief among the Customs and Border Protection's duties as a federal agency is stopping the flow of illicit drugs, including fentanyl, into the United States over international borders.

When asked why he would need fentanyl lollipops to travel to the United Nations' General Assembly meeting, Eastman allegedly argued that the lollipops would be necessary for pain management in case of an emergency, and were "necessary" in case a CBP operator was injured, or if the Air and Marine Operations team encountered a "patient in need."

Over half a dozen CBP employees were involved in the "urgent" requests to purchase the fentanyl lollipops, the whistleblowers said, with senior leadership in the office reporting concerns about the process in emails. Eastman's attempts to order the lollipops were unsuccessful because there was not funding available, the whistleblowers said.

top 8 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] Tristaniopsis@aussie.zone 14 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I think he didn’t like flying and was hoping to numb himself into not panicking.

[–] sonori@beehaw.org 5 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Then why in the world would he not just say so and just drive or walk to the train between DC and New York? He’s a government official, but not really one notable enough to need a security escort to go to the grocery store.

[–] Tristaniopsis@aussie.zone 4 points 8 months ago

Or maybe he just want a lick’o the ole fenty.

[–] Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 8 months ago

Because there are drugs that have not a need to be described as class II?

[–] livus@kbin.social 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

@Tristaniopsis my first thought was that he wanted to give them to children.

I'm glad it turns out fentanyl lollipops for adults are actually a thing.

[–] deur@feddit.nl 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Nobody is giving drugs to children, they're expensive.

[–] livus@kbin.social 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

@deur I like how you think and I want to be more like you.

Not being sarcastic, btw.

[–] autotldr@lemmings.world 1 points 8 months ago

This is the best summary I could come up with:

The chief medical officer for the Customs and Border Protection agency repeatedly asked staff members to order fentanyl lollipops for him to take on a helicopter mission to the United Nations in New York City in Sept. 2023, according to a whistleblower report by the Government Accountability Project.

Over half a dozen CBP employees were involved in the "urgent" requests to purchase the fentanyl lollipops, the whistleblowers said, with senior leadership in the office reporting concerns about the process in emails.

According to the whistleblower complaint, Eastman "created a hostile and chilled work environment" through attempts to "flout law and policy," and with his disparagement of other senior leaders and abusive treatment of other staff.

Alvarez, who suffered from sickle cell anemia and heart disease, died after detention facility staff dismissed or downplayed her complaints of pain and declined to take her to the hospital multiple times.

The CBP spokesperson stated Friday that the Department of Homeland Security launched a review of the OCMO following Alvarez's death "to address the critical failures that led to this deeply upsetting and unacceptable tragedy.

This review quickly identified serious concerns within OCMO, including mismanagement, and an insufficient focus on delivering consistent and quality medical care."

The original article contains 748 words, the summary contains 201 words. Saved 73%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!