this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 173 points 1 year ago (10 children)

You're gifted enough to cruise through the first few stages of your education without trying, so you forge an identity as "the smart kid" but never build up skills in learning or studying, so when you finally get to a level where your natural intelligence can't carry you anymore you can't keep up with the people who did learn those skills and you start to fail and lose your identity as the smart kid which causes you to break down because that'd how you defined yourself for so long..... or so I've heard.

[–] zephyreks@programming.dev 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's the cost of designing education for the worst students.

[–] 7heo@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

This is actually the reason. Because there is no such thing as "natural intelligence". Not more than there is "natural strength". There are natural predispositions, yes, but what you get is function of what training effort you put in. Whether you realise, and/or like, putting effort into training your intelligence, is is another thing. So people who are "above average" were in a favorable environment that fostered their development without it feeling forced, or unnatural. And then, when the environment was replaced by the school's, it sadly didn't foster personal development anymore. I would argue we would need to redesign education, now that we have internet. We don't have to design courses around physical limits.

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 15 points 1 year ago

Because there is no such thing as "natural intelligence".

Weell, some children have it easier to comprehend stuff on the logical/abstract level than others. Which feeds their curiousity. Which trains their intelligence...

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[–] TheDoctorDonna@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I feel like you watched me grow up. For a long time I was smart enough to pick things up naturally, I was even offered to skip grades.

Then the math got complicated and I didn't know how to learn it. I went from being the smart kid to being the stupid one in remedial math. Being smart was all I had at that point, so when I "lost" that, I lost everything in my eyes. I was stupid and I was never going to be anything because of it.

I ended up getting my GED as an adult and I now have a promising career in insurance- so I didn't really lose everything, but when I was 15 it sure felt like I had.

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[–] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 19 points 1 year ago

Excuse me, I resent being attacked at 5am on a Friday, tyvm.

[–] SwampYankee@mander.xyz 15 points 1 year ago

Wow, that's exactly what I've... heard... too!

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[–] snooggums@kbin.social 153 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I am good with knowing my deficiencies. What sucks is being told that they are my fault because I should be "smart enough to overcome them".

[–] ButtholeSpiders@startrek.website 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Agreed 100%, being a specialist in something always has led to someone taking a pot shot at your deficiencies.

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 18 points 1 year ago

Or being a jack of all trades and getting potshots for not being an expert in everything just because you pick up the basics quickly.

[–] SolarNialamide@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's actually insane how many teachers and other education professionals waved me off with 'you're smart enough, just try harder' while I was obviously suicidally depressed and extremely dysfunctional. Having undiagnosed autism because I was a teenage girl in the '00s was fun.

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[–] pinkdrunkenelephants@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

People who say that are just trying to be a dick to you. Say something soul-searing to them in response and they'll stop.

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Most people just don't understand that being really good at something doesn't mean you can't be terrible at something else. Like, I can problem solve a wide variety of things, but there are a few things that I just have no success at even if I know the problem and the likely solution.

The most infuriating one for me is that if I can't see something then I cannot line it up right. A screw or bolt out of view means I have a 50/50 chance of ever getting it started even though I know how I can move it to fit in. Like I know to tilt and whatever, but without a visual frame it becomes impossible. A ton of people just yell me I am not trying hard enough, even though attempting to learn for decades hasn't worked out for me.

But with even the slightest view I can get it started no problem. Being told I am not trying hard enough is infuriating when I am just being honest that it is my limitation.

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[–] menemen@lemmy.world 92 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The guilt that "you could have done more with your life", despite being a successful engineer with a happy family.

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 52 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

"Gurtaj is a principle software engineer at Google you know! You used to be the same grade in school. What happened?"

"Dad, I'm running a multimillion dollar startup right now"

"Tsk tsk"

[–] Lepsea@sh.itjust.works 29 points 1 year ago

"with all that million dollar you still can't be a doctor, did you know your nephew could play violins blindfolded while performing a surgery when he was still 3 years old. What a disappointment"

[–] TechieDamien@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago

Meanwhile,

"Osrs is running a multimilion dollar startup you know! You used to be the same grade at school. What happened?"

"Dad, I'm a principle software engineer at Google right now!"

"Tsk tsk"

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Dude...fuck...are you me?

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 67 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There's that joke about wearing regular clothes on Halloween to go as the "gifted kid", and when people ask what you're supposed to be you sigh and say you were supposed to be a lot of things.

[–] Kernal64@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"I'm a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else."

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[–] Kerrigor@kbin.social 63 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm in this picture and it makes me keenly aware of what I could accomplish if I didn't just coast by

[–] ButtholeSpiders@startrek.website 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Go with what makes you happiest, most often more effort can lead to less rewards. Ultimately you have to find your comfort zone.

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[–] Squizzy@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

We all think we are there, it's not a good mentality. No judgement, I am with you

AscendedMeme.jpg: Being Dumb | Being Gifted | Being Just Smart Enough to Coast by Easily in life while enjoying it.

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[–] Xylight@lemmy.xylight.dev 63 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (10 children)

Let's be honest, most of us think we're in the blue zone, when we are probably in the red zone

[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 52 points 1 year ago (3 children)

No, people in the red zone think they're in the green zone.

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[–] Voli@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sometimes we wish that our impostors syndrome was true

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[–] SolarNialamide@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I had to do an official test along with a psychological examination for reasons when I was almost 18 years old, so I know at some point I was in the blue zone or above, but it doesn't really fucking matter when you have autism, a mood disorder and have been neglected by your parents so you never learned things like determination or frustration tolerance. I think I shaved a solid 10 IQ points off anyway from almost a decade of substance abuse issues, so now I'm just autistic and dysfunctional without the gifted part.

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[–] talizorah@kbin.social 44 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I still suffer from this. Promising early start, intense self-confidence issues and depression by the end.

[–] Cube6392@beehaw.org 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The secret is we're all gifted and talented in our own ways. Our society is structured to benefit and work for a specific kind of gifted and talented. You got to an early start, and then when it was determined your talents weren't profitable, the problem was framed as you wasting them instead or the system failing you.

Not to mention our current identification of gifted and talented is basically just "So you know how that one kid has ADHD and his lack of structure in their home life results in poor grades? Well we put them in the remedial class. There we will teach them coping and organization skills. Meanwhile, this other kid? They also have ADHD but we don't realize it because their grades are fantastic. Turns out their home life is stressful in a specific way that means they get good grades, but they don't really know why or what structure is helping them. I school we will put them in the gifted and talented class. There, they'll be in an unstructured environment where they can learn and explore at their own pace and OH NO NOW THEY'RE ANXIOUS AND UPSET BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE THEY WERE THRIVING IN THE STRUCTURE OF A REGULAR CLASSROOM"

Our education system is not based on individual need and instead on assuming everyone is basically the same, just more or less advanced

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[–] shadowspirit@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Doubt is a sign of intelligence. Which can sometimes lead to confidence issues. Just try to keep things in perspective and not let doubt keep you from taking calculated risks. It's when we allow ourselves to become paralyzed that things regress. A lot of it is environment as well so there's no simple answer but I can assure you thet you're not alone.

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[–] Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

This is funny, but even the most intelligent people are inflicted with this. Don't let it keep you down, we cannot be good at everything.

Its been consistently self-reported by Harvard students. And another effect is present, too - excellence leads to being placed in competitive environments, where everyone else is just as excellent. And this can make brilliant people feel stupid.

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[–] ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Fun fact: programs for gifted kids have historically been far more underfunded than programs for other exceptional students.

By the way, the euphemism of "exceptional children" pleases my autistic brain way more than any other word for Special Education students. It has all the compliment-sounding qualities of "Special Needs" but is even more literal than any previous euphemism. It literally means "kids that teachers need to make exceptions for"

[–] Misconduct@startrek.website 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"Gifted" programs royally screwed my education. I had huge gaps in my knowledge because they decided that being top percentile in reading/writing (and being the weird kid) meant I could just skip out on classes for special little weird classes or sit with higher grade classes. I just had ADHD btw and really liked to read. Anyway, I would LOVE to know wtf they thought they were doing moving a kid around that much in 3rd-5th. I suffered the hardest with math. I was missing bits and pieces, which is pretty gd important in math, and I'd still somehow get the answers right but talked to about my overly complicated or ✨creative✨ solutions lol. Even now I hide my work if I need to solve something because I'm probably doing it weird... Then later it was really fun finding out that I couldn't really live up to being "gifted". 0/10 being special made me less educated.

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[–] twelvefloatinghands@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago

There is no green region. It's blue all the way up.

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Did you know that 80% of people think they're above average intelligence?

[–] mayo@lemmy.today 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think a good part of that is because 'average human' is not a good way to represent who we are individually. I'm probably above average at specific things but in many other respects I'm average or below or wherever I'm supposed to be. Maybe most people are above average even though on average most of us are average.

Fully above average people IMO are like astronauts and stuff. We all live in the shadow of that former navy seal/doctor/astronaut who is like 45 or some crazy shit.

[–] areyouevenreal@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This really depends on the distribution. If some or all of the people in that bottom 20% are very, very stupid it could actually work out that 80% are above average, because the average is being pulled down by the people at the bottom.

This is why we have different averages like mean, median, mode, and RMS because they each give you different interpretations of the raw data. For example the mean electro motive force of the grid is around 0 volts because it spends as much time in the negative as the positive. We use RMS here because negative numbers become positive when squared.

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[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ah, I see the stereotype of everyone thinking of themselves as "lazy genius" is something we've carried over from Reddit. We're all above average intelligent and could really achieve something if we just bothered to work hard and apply ourselves!

lol

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[–] RQG@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (11 children)

Being gifted only refers to intelligence most of the time. But intelligence alone won't make a person excel at their field. You can be among the most intelligent people but still stay in the blue zone.

I think excellence comes to be when intelligence meets motivation, purpose, creativity, social skills or other factors.

And when it comes to the blue zone resilience would be a key factor. If one is intelligent of course you realize your faults quicker as well. However it takes resilience to keep going in the face of your own doubt.

That's why in the real world people who are very convinced of themselves and their own ideas will get far even if not gifted at all.

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[–] IntentionallyAnon@lemm.ee 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I wish my iq was 20 higher or lower, idk just gimme out of the blue zone

[–] Captain_Ender@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The older I get the more I profoundly identify with Cypher. Ignorance truly is bliss.

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[–] ButtholeSpiders@startrek.website 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I get what you mean… though, I feel like an IQ test is a biased test, I took one as a teenager and scored high. Which was a morale boost at the time, but a few months later I had medical problems and ended up having a stroke and had to basically start all over with speech, motor and memory.

Sure, I survived. But I went through every therapy, started back up and realized I wasn’t close to what I was before. Which was crushing, sure I knew it wouldn’t be the same and I’m still above average, but the latent memories of my capabilities before constantly haunt me.

I didn’t mean to depress anyone, just enjoy the blue zone if at all possible. I constantly try remembering, it can get worse. /hug

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[–] ClockNimble@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fun fact about being in that green region: Don't! It's like being in the blue region, but green!

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[–] Baba_booey1@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Getting mature early is a curse

Cuz you are left with a wee little tolerance for biased thoughts and advices

[–] GCanuck@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Who wants to bet that most commenters will place themselves in the blue zone?

Thankfully I can look down on everyone as I’m firmly at the top of that curve.

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[–] Zatore@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't mind being aware of everything, but I do mind that nobody else is

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[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Awareness of your own weaknesses is the first step to make them your strengths.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yes, this is funny, but anyone worth knowing in a PhD program will quote Hawkings at you if you take the green part too seriously.

"Only losers brag about their IQ."

Or Thomas Edison (and yes, he was actually a decent engineer before he realized how much easier it is to just own a company)

"Great accomplishments depend not so much on ingenuity as on hard work."

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