this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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Only one time use.

Think of like world leaders, celebrities, ya know πŸ˜‰. Are you gonna make them do some embarassing things, or illegal acts.

My answer:

spoilerTake control of an NSA agent with access to the most powerful hacking tools, hack everyone's phone, install a program that randomly have a popup at random intervals, the popup message says "I'm watching you". This also tries to spread itself to any other phone it can connect to. Pure chaos 😈

Pretty sure I can do this in a minute, depending on how good the NSA tools are.

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[–] Mango@lemmy.world 0 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I didn't care how pretty she is. I need more than a minute.

[–] Neon@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Idk, it just feels kind of rapey?

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Neon@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

And it doean't feel wrong to joke about that to you?

[–] Mango@lemmy.world -1 points 6 days ago

Nope. Why should it?

[–] nimpnin@sopuli.xyz 46 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Trump will take a hero dose of acid, there’s no other way

[–] NineMileTower@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago (6 children)

People are going to say Trump and Putin and all that shit, but I'm going to control my boss and have him double my salary.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Only thinking of yourself, tsk tsk.

[–] NineMileTower@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

We're at a point in world politics where taking out one person isn't going to change much anyway.

[–] aramis87@fedia.io 6 points 1 week ago

Ooh - Jeff Bezos, and some way to irreversibly triple every non-executive Amazon worker/contractor's pay, plus full healthcare. He can afford it and Amazon has enough direct and indirect workers that it'll be felt throughout the country and the economy, and other companies will eventually be forced to compete, raising living standards for most people (and increasing tax revenue).

End with a tweet supporting an inflation-linked living wage, Medicare for All, and UBI.

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[–] AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Make the Pope announce his conversion to Buddhism (and declare it an infallible doctrine of faith, ex cathedra).

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Okay, I've had a nice nap, so here's the answer: I'd take over Putin's body, demand the nearest person's gun, and rid the world of him (Putin) once and for all.

[–] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I would save it for an armed person protecting a full cabinet meeting after january 15th.

[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Fox news be like: "DEMOCRAT DEEP STATE ANTIFA SLEEPER AGENT..."

Edit: Btw inauguration is Jan 20, you got your dates mixed up

yeah better make it febuary just to be sure. thanks. that could have been a disaster if I had gotten superpowers or a genie wish.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

take over Trump on inauguration day just as he's about to take the oath. claim the election was rigged in my favor by the Russians and everyone I know was in on it also that I'm (he) a Russian spy. call all magas mentally retarded and they should drink bleach to cleanse the world of their filth.

finally take a swan dive down the stairs and break my neck.

[–] EtnaAtsume@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

The best part of this would not be the act itself but the insane mental gymnastics that Americans would put themselves through to deny or justify it so as to result in, ultimately, no change at all.

[–] TheBraveSirRobbin@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

finally take a swan dive down the stairs and break my neck.

Think you'd even be able to get his feet off the ground?

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

The human body is amazing and has limiters that stop one from pushing too hard.

in times of great stress an individual can push past those limits.

Every fiber of my soul would be screaming to get out of that sack of shit, even if it would blow out his ACL's, I would ensure that fatass would at least get 10 good inches off the ground.

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Not a lot you can do in one minute. Maybe a tweet? so would have to take the muskrat.

"After a discussion with president elect orange turdball I will be shutting down X January next year, you can find me over on Truth Social"

Then sign him out of twitter from each device in range.

[–] SGforce@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] wabafee@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Make Putin jump through a high rise window.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Wait til I know he's having a summit with KJU and blam him first, then any generals standing nearby, then self

[–] JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ah i see we think alike. Except i would have it during a live video and make it look like he 'accidentally' topped out. People would be like "he... he actually just fell out of a window"

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

It's a real problem, these high windows

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The person who approves or denies new shows on Netflix or something and then spend the next minute approving as many animated shows as I can.

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Inb4 and during Trump + gun

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[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (9 children)

Take over a billionaire and tell assistant to transfer 5m to real me and never mention it again or he will be fired.

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[–] Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That'd take more than a minute.

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[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Take over Clearance and have him shoot kegStand. Based on the timing, the next 58 seconds can be a sick rant about guns.

If sleepy Joe is on the ball, he'll have two young replacements in mind.

[–] RedirectDeposit@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Have Trump take off his diaper on TV and say "my smol wee wee has poo poo on it, me sad"

[–] y0kai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 6 days ago

Are you trying to get him elected a third time?

Is supporters would eat that up. "He's just so brave and relatable."

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Give it like a month and you won't have to waste your one ability use on this.

[–] Nemo 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The only people it would be ethical to use this on are those in permanent vegetative states... and myself.

I think I'd opt for one minute of true self-control. Maybe I could overclock myself or something. Never know until you try.

[–] Engywuck@lemm.ee 1 points 5 days ago

Best commenti ever!

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[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I would control King Charles and have him order the dissolution of the empire.

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Probably one of musks 50 body guards.

[–] hendrik@palaver.p3x.de 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Make someone edit the balance of my bank account. I think you can buy a lot of things, including further immoral services with cash. I hope there is someone who can do it in 1 minute and doesn't require any review by other people.

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[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd control Biden and have him do his job by executing the traitors that are a legitimate threat to the US constitution.

[–] Wiz@midwest.social 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Some crypto bro bastard is about to lose their holdings...

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