If they would prevent people and companies to own more than six houses or flazs, that would make way more sense.

"So, what are you in for?"

"Seventh dildo."

In Texas, owning more dildos than guns is a crime. Probably.

Normalize mailing Texas lawmakers 7 dildos.

Of course it's possible to own more than 6 assault rifles, right?

"Compromises the innocence of children"???

Unless you are incredibly liberal parents, children don't even know what the fuck those are until they're old enough to recognize it as anything more than just a "tube". By the time they grasp the idea that it's something sexual, they're old enough to handle that knowledge.

"smaller government" apparently just means few dildos for the inspector to have to count.

Does Texas employ door-to-door dildo inspectors?

Is there a state office of dildo regulations, wieghts, and measures?

What are they going to do next? Make registry of dildos? Have a dildo buyback program? Regulate the length and girth?

The Texas House has at least 87 dildos. Someone should report them.

The very people that come up with these pearl clutch laws are the same people who also want to legalize marrying 12 year olds. But won't anyone think of the children, PLEASE!

Does my double-ended dildo count as one or two? Does size matter? Does a tarzan with bunny ears count as one or two? Does my hand count? How about a cucumber?

So many questions.

What if they're dildo shaped guns? Would Texas ever dare to ban those?

what is not fair is that all texans have at least one dildo as long as elon resides there.

I don't agree, but I've also literally never seen a sex toy for sale in Walmart. Like, is that a thing?

One for each day of the week except God's day, as He said "on the seventh day you must [give it a] rest"

It's just like enforcing in-home nudity when the blinds are shut, how are they gonna enforce this?

Ladies and gentlemen, as is tradition when this utter foolishness is discussed, may I present: Texas Annie, performed by The Wet Spots

Well, Texas Annie had a big fat fanny, and she drove a black sedan She had Ben Wa Balls in her overalls and a trunk full of contraband And when the fog was thick, she'd pack her dicks, and sneak across the county line 'Cause in Texas, any tool for masturbation is a crime

Hard-livin' and promiscuous, she kinda liked the risk She was a liquor-drinkin' dildo-runnin' rascal With an electronic phallus for each housewife up in Dallas An' a probe for every asshole in El Paso

Cos you can't buy a dildo in Texas We don't touch ourselves down there round here, ya' hear? And it says so in the Bible that a vibe'll leave you liable For a prison term of twenty-seven years

I'm going to Texas and buying 50 dildos because fuck you that's why (also I will be selling the dildos at a slight discount afterwards)

Can they rent Ted Cruz instead? He's a dildo.

So this means that Texas dildo inspector will be a job in the future. Just wow

Will there be an official Office of Dildo Inspections? With Dildo Inspectors making rounds, carefully checking every household for staying within their allotted number of items? Will the billboards aside the vast highways advertise the government hotline for anonymous reporting of infractions?

And if not, well, they're clearly cowards. If you're going to pass a law like that, you have to go all the way!

Seriously though, I sometimes wonder how this period of time will be described in history books 50 years from now.

So they just rent the ones over 6?

I'm interested in seeing a judicial decision on whether a double ended dildo counts as one dildo or two dildos.

If you create a religion with a dildo being recognized by your dogma as official iconography, could you unlock "unlimited dildos" based upon religious freedom exceptions?

What a waste of money and resources