And they say romance is dead
this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
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"Potion seller, I need your strongest potions."
So that's how God did it, huh?
The Bible hand-waves away some steps, but pretty much.
Not like this Jurassic Park Scientist man. 😭
Not like this.
Who says romance is dead?
Anyone can be a father. But it takes semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight to be a dad.
Still a better love story than Twilight?
Absolutely. If nothing else, I'm not hoping everyone involved dies at the end, which is a massive change from twilight
It's the tokophobia talking, but I do find it fascinating how much people can want to be pregnant.
The whole "Don't stick your dick in crazy" is this woman in a nutshell.
I think the both of them are on equal footing in this case. Poor kid. I hope this is all just a coverup for a guard who helped them meet.
The Shaw-wank Redemption?
Edit: Or Sore-shaft Redemption.
I was coming on here to post: Sure-wank Impregnation but Frankensteining the two gets us:
The Sore-wank Impregnation
"Every day like five times a day for like a month straight"
5 times a day for a month!?
Where's he getting that much Saran wrap in jail?
I got the sense that he was stockpiling his…product, and then shipping it over the border once he had accumulated enough for a proper insemination attempt. I hate everything about what I just typed.
So basically a reverse pony jar?
Considering that sperm die pretty fast outside the body it's more likely it was "fresh".
I hate everything that I have read
Huh, I need to re-read the Gospels, I don't remember the part about Mary stuffing semen she got from the HVAC vents into her cooter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.
I read that as Satan-wrapped and I had questions. Then I read it correctly... still many questions.
It's questions all the way down.
That headline just got wilder with every word
I don't know, I am more inclined to believe that they found a way to meet up and have sex, but they are trying to hide that so they don't get into trouble. Maybe the facility is going along with it, so they don't get into trouble either.
To save any other Britons having to search it, "Saran Wrap" is American for "Cling Film".
And for the Australians, Glad Wrap.
Honestly we mostly call it cling film too
"Plastic wrap" is the most common term in my area.
We call it "sperm saver".
Life uh, finds a way.
"Did you love mommy a lot-alot?!"
Son
hand on your shoulder
It's like this...
Hopefully these two never meet in person because their relationship would suddenly end very quickly.
That poor kid that gets born from this relationship though ..... "Hey! are you that guy/gal that got born from the prison Virgin Mary? I heard of that story years ago on the internet!"
Congrats on taking on child support payments from your fucking jail cell, m'dude.
OK. I read this and know that I just didn't die soon enough
Mentally ill people using a child for personal gain???
This aint the first time but people in this comment section acting like it is with all of that faux outrage.
Human condition for us on both levels