Edit: Last night she attempted suicide. I was in the living room while she was showering. She got out of the shower, went to the bedroom, and about 10 minutes later I heard her call my name. She was holding a large handful of her medicine in one hand, and the bottle in the other. She told me she almost took it, but decided to get help instead. Suffice to say, both of us are dealing with a lot right now. She asked me not to tell anyone, but I am trying to persuade her to get mental healthcare.
So yesterday morning, while my girlfriend and I were sleeping in our new apartment, we heard some rustling at the door. This was around 8 AM or so. I heard him call out "maintenance" very faintly from the other side of the door.
I was partially awake and called out to the guy after glancing my gf's way in a "is this guy for real?" look.
Guy apologized and left the apartment after he heard me. At the time, she said she was "glad I was there".
I spoke to him later and he apologized profusely and said he wasn't aware someone had moved in already. I figured that would be the end of it. No harm, no foul.
Last night, my girlfriend informed me that I didn't handle that correctly. She said her dad would've been up and ready to fight the guy, and that by glancing her way I must've been asking her to protect me.
Despite us discussing a proposal now that we're 2 years in, she let me know she doesn't think I should "this year, but that she may change her mind".
I'm honestly baffled. Was I supposed to shoot the maintenance man or something?
It has me reconsidering the relationship. One perceived mistake--that I honestly think I handled fine--and she's putting our plans on ice.
She's been mean leading up to this. She blames her cycle (and apologizes each time), but it's a pretty extreme mood shift for a few days each month. So part of me wonders if these 2 things are related, and she'll regret saying that to me. Another part wonders if I should forgive her in the first place.
What do y'all think? How big of a mess am I in?
Take everything people here say with a grain of salt. We don't know your relationships history, nor are we going to be able to get the full truth from both of your perspectives.
That said, it sounds like there is definitely more going on in your relationship than just that event and her cycle. Yeah, maybe it would have been best for you to get out of bed and go check things out, but I'd say it's more likely that you didn't see how she was feeling from that experience which is the real problem. You might be experiencing a communication breakdown.
Don't give up hope if you just recently started having these thoughts about ending the relationship. Even good relationships have low points. Keep the communication flowing. Keep friends around so the conversation can be light-hearted at times. Forgive everything that's forgivable. Maybe talk with a therapist or counselor (it's gotten cheaper). Find a way to take the edge off that's not harmful because you're probably really stressed.
There's no magic bullet to fixing this situation. It's gonna take some effort to work things out. Best of luck
Edit: you should also talk to the landlord about maintenance being in your house while you're sleeping. That really shouldn't happen.
Throw a pool in the mattress for good measure.