[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

I am a cat person, so, never.

Can't have kids coz dicks firing blank shots and also renting atm with a wage that I keep complaining about everyday coz I can't afford basic stuffs.

This made me ask more questions.

If there was a plan, who made the plans for us?

If it's a myth, why is it being being taught?

Depends on whose plan you mean. My life certainly isn't perfect or awful, I'm content with what I've got, but things could be much MUCH better with a few changes that are unfortunately out of my hands.

No

Sort of in a backwards kinda way. Made a plan 2 years ago to start something and it almost coming to completion.

But damn if I know if going work out or not.

Idk, there never really was a plan tbh. When I was a kid I obviously wanted all that stuff because society describes it as the normal objective to aim for.

Some of the things I don't have because I don't want them. I'm aro/ace and not really looking for a partner or kids. I don't have a car because it's not worth the money to me, my bike and the train manage to bring me nearly everywhere.

I managed to finish university and I have a nice job. So really I have not much to complain about. After getting mono and COVID I did become perpetually tired, but luckily not enough to stop life from being fun.

I guess it's going to plan, just not the plan that society made up for me but rather the one I made up along the way.

I'm 28. I have a good career, a good dog, and an affordable apartment in a great neighborhood. The cars thing is obviously very subjective; for me personally I'm thrilled that I live somewhere that I can get away with not needing to own a car.

The only thing that isn't going my way is the relationship thing. Feels like that's never going to happen for me. I've been single my whole life and often doubt that I'll ever find someone. I have ASD so the skills that most people develop naturally which are necessary to develop and maintain a romantic relationship never developed for me.

Doing fine so far! No kids yet though.

• A house
  -- Just purchased, closing is closing in soon.
• two cars
  -- completely mandatory. We couldn't possibly bus, we have two used cars approaching two decades old and we're dreading the day they croak.
• a healthy relationship
  -- married in July
• a career
  -- For me, finally started the career I wanted two years ago, after a decade of trying to become a programmer I finally am. Wife might be in a career now, she's not quite sure. She's happier where she is than Target, but that's a low bar.
• livable wage
  -- livable with the ability to go on vacations (mostly anime and comic conventions)
• ~~2.5 kids~~
  -- don't want them at the moment.
• a dog
  -- ... two cats

I do NOT in any way feel like I've earned this. I have been saving to buy a house EVER SINCE I paid off my student loans. I dumped all my money for YEARS to get that debt off of my books and after I did, I immediately started saving. Didn't even change my living habits because they were habits at that point. I didn't even have a GF at the time. I just knew that I wanted to be ahead, because I knew that it was going to be a slog when I was finally ready to buy a home. Just like it was a slog to get into my career, just like it was a slog. I wanted to be AHEAD I wanted a good home. And after all that effort I got...

half a duplex for $305,000... Cheapest we could find if you don't count badrealestate suggestions on lemmy.

All that effort and I barely have a home. barely. We could've taken a larger loan but, shit happens. We could've been laid off, One of our cars could've needed to be replaced, We could've been disabled, We could've had our identity stolen, We could've been scammed, We could've been robbed, We could've come across a cop who didn't like our faces, We could've missed payments because Wells Fargo SUCKS and have our credit killed.

All of these things DIDN'T happen to us, so we got to purchase a house. Because if any of those things happened to us, we would've dipped into savings and we wouldn't be purchasing a house in our 30s. All of those things that could've happened were completely out of our control. (except for Wells Fargo, you can choose to not be fucked by Wells Fargo by LEAVING Wells Fargo)

So... there is no plan, only a lottery.

I know people close to those benchmarks and they’re happy people, I haven’t checked so many boxes but I notice I’m happier when I don’t think about my life in metrics or romanticized societal fantasies like quality wage or livable of life.

For myself, emphatically not. Took me to 32 to finally finish my degrees, in that time my parents became ill and needed me around to help get them over the finish line for retirement. This caused me to take a job making obscenely less than I deserved for my education and capability, but it was remote and adjacent to the industry I wanted. Fast forward a few years and I am finally in a relationship worth having, finally getting my parents settled into retirement, and my partner and I find out that she has an autoimmune disease that will take her away far too soon. Still being undervalued by the same company (though they aren't profitable enough to pay me more, but have taken care of me in emergencies). Looking for new work now, but the stress of the last 7+ years of my life has damaged my heart and given me anxiety issues, so I am struggling to even be able to apply. And most recently my partner and I got pregnant, so the money situation is even more immediately relevant, not to mention the fear we both have that she won't make it to the kid's graduation. That is all just after college... before is even more of a trainwreck. The best laid plans and all that jazz.

No plan, but I'm happy and have more in superannuation than some, so I can't complain.

Never really adhered to the lifescript™. A lot of my goals and milestones I've accomplished pretty late, but that's just how things turned out. All in all my life could be a bit better but it could also be a lot worse.

There was a plan? Someone could have told me about that 40 years ago!

Seriously though, yeah, I guess. Not completely a traditional plan since I skipped the whole university and singles life part and instead went right to work, got married and had kids (which turned out great, kids all moved on to do their own stuff by the time I was 40, so now I have money and health at the same time, which would be pretty cool if I had some time).

TBH neither my partner nor I give a flying fuck about traditional anything, we just kinda do what sounds like fun and isn't too likely to fuck things up for future us. Not a whole lot of long-term planning going on over here.

Having kids and needing a car would be a nightmare to me, not a dream.

ETA: Who downvoted me? A car nut or a breeder?