Pretty sure that's wood.
this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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Terrible Estate Agent Photos
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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.
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The pieces of wood shaped like slices of bread are disturbing.
But if you zoom in, they aren't. It's shadowss.
If you then enhance, you notice it is actually painted.
Lol. That would make more sense!
Cutting boards to be more specific.
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Whats with the little gimp nook behind the fridge? The spiders in there are probably so big they have names.
I was trying to think of the words to describe that area and you came up with something much better than I could have.
Friend had cellar spiders in his bathtub in college. Of course they all had appropriate (i.e. stupid) names.
When I was a kid my parents had a shower in the basement. It's normal for my area, a lot of outdoor manual laborers back in the day so having a shower in the basement meant you could come home after work and not drag the stink and filth of work into the house. I didn't do outdoor manual labor but I worked in restaurants, which brings with it its own stink and filth, and I also often got home at like 3am, so I used the basement shower om an effort to keep the house clean and not wake everyone else up. This meant that I had to establish something I called the Basement Spider Detente. We had tons of spiders down there, and I try to be respectful of everyone's right to be alive absent any unwarranted aggression. The deal we reached was as follows: the entire basement and garage belonged to the spiders. They were free to roam, hunt, and generally spide however they saw fit. The shower was off-limits, though, and the penalty for coming within jumping distance of my naked bits was summary execution. I like to think that somewhere near Pittsburgh is a genetic line of cellar spiders that differ from the rest of their species in being extremely hydrophobic. I hope their line succeeds and confounds biologists in the centuries after I go to wherever it is we all must one day go.
I love your verbification of "spide" — and your respect of our eight-legged allies.
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gimp nook
I don't know when I'll get to use it but I'm stealing it.
Cellar spiders have more relative square footage in their loft than we do in our entire apartments
The more I look at this the worst it gets
Is that a door behind the wood/bread in that enclave? This room is nightmare fuel.
I would walk into those pillars multiple times per day
Yeah those pillars are horrible. It generally feels very claustrophobic in there, super low ceiling, I wouldn't feel comfortable there at all
There's a pillar directly in front of the oven too. I guess the tenant can just forget about cooking anything bigger than a pizza bagel.
As luck would have it, though, when pizza is on a bagel, you can have pizza anytime. So, ya know, at least they won't starve... They'll just be incredibly malnourished as a result of their structurally imposed dietary restrictions.
I'm glad I'm not the only person who remembers this jingle.
I think that's just the perspective and cropping of the picture. It looks like the nearest pillar is in the same row of tile as the further pillar, so there are three rows of tiles between the oven and the pillar.
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Are those pillars structural ?
It looks like it’s in the basement.
The fact it is underground makes the goblin hole even more disturbing.
Purely cosmetic, just like the inaccessible space next to the fridge
Only one way to know *grab axe*
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This has strong "student housing in someone's basement" vibes.
Looks like it might be converted from a restaurant kitchen, with the supports and the tiles used.
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This feels like 3D objects that loaded inside of another object in a video game or something
You've no-clipped into the backrooms.
It puts the lotion on its skin or it doesn't get any more bread
Feng shuin't
As a kitchen designer I can't look away. I know it's still there if I don't look.
It's for the wall-goblin. The goblin that lives in the walls.
The goblin's going to eat something. It's in everyone's best interest that something be bread.
I think those are terribly placed clipboards with sheets of paper on them.
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How does this happen? Why would anyone build this kitchen this way?
You start with a house old enough to have the kitchen designed around a wood stove (which goes in that alcove). Someone eventually rips it out and tries to modernise the kitchen, leaving a weird space and a kitchen layout which is a bit off. The original walls and room layout are often messed with as well, which doesn't help.
The whole picture feels like that kitchen was made by aliens to put abducted humans in it and make them feel like home.
Gotta say… the comments about it being in the basement have gotta be correct. No windows… weird layout like too many appliances crammed into any available spots.. the creepy wall hole for… idek. And the beams that 100% Stubs your toe with every midnight snack mission…
And those magnets yo…
That tile is doing this room no favors.
Looks a bit like an old apartment of mine
That you lived in voluntarily? Was it… nice?
My friend, one does not live in such a place, one merely exists.
No. It was terrible, it had roaches, mice, ants, all sorts of things. The meat chest in our landlords basement failed and they didn't know - they had a lot of meat rotting in there and it smelled like corpses as well as corpse flies all over.
So thankfully because we lived there we saved enough money for a substantial down payment for a nice home we've been living in phew!
Looks like a couple of used, dusty sponges, weird sponge clothes to me. I'm more worried about: Everything else.
It's an offering for whatever lives in that hole.
None of this feels right, at all
Something sinister lives here
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