this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 144 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Jesus, ate The Onion again. Right at the edge of believably.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 54 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

In the 90s, the headlines were absurdist satire, and the point was to laugh at people who could fall for it being a real news publication.

Things like "Woman wins powerball lottery. Buys state of Montana."

NOW the headlines are absurdist satire, and the world has decided to bite the onion SO HARD that real life headlines are just as absurdist and satire adjacent, that you're easily forgiven for not knowing the difference between ketchup and catsup.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Why would you bring that condimental abomination into this friendly discussion?

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

I call tomatoes god's perfect food, but they can only be pushed so far until they become an abomination before a loving Jesus.

[–] uis@lemm.ee 6 points 3 weeks ago

NOW the headlines are absurdist satire, and the world has decided to bite the onion SO HARD that real life headlines are just as absurdist and satire adjacent, that you're easily forgiven for not knowing the difference between ketchup and catsup.

Basically american version of soviet anecdotes.

[–] DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world 111 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Honestly, this is more a prediction than satire at this point.

[–] ohellidk@sh.itjust.works 69 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

the onion is getting really good at "getting" me. they had me again with this article!

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's because reality has caught up with their ridiculousness.

[–] uis@lemm.ee 9 points 3 weeks ago

Reminds about interview with creator of Masyanya.

"How your script is always so ridiculous and prophetic?"

"I just look at current trends and extrapolate."

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 11 points 3 weeks ago

Nono, that's reality catching up.

[–] Tyfud@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Fuck. They got me too here.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 52 points 3 weeks ago

Got me too. I literally said WTF before I noticed.

[–] Kattiydid 45 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Cheese and rice. Got me good.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Wow what's that expression? Like it :-)

[–] reddig33@lemmy.world 44 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I had to double check the name of the sub to make sure this wasn’t a real law.

[–] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 24 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Fucking Onion keeps giving them ideas; the GOP might as well start paying them as policy advisors

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago
[–] Alpha71@lemmy.world 40 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

JESUS CHRIST!!! Don't give them fucking ideas!

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

You'd think that after the video from from the other day was co-opted in hours they'd wise up.

[–] Smith6826@sopuli.xyz 2 points 3 weeks ago

Wait, so this isn't real? Everything's so goddamn crazy I can't tell anymore.

[–] inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world 32 points 3 weeks ago

I read the headline and went, huh, sounds about White before I saw the website.

Damn you The Onion...

[–] Wahots@pawb.social 21 points 3 weeks ago

I actually ate the onion. Spooky that this one feels believable.

[–] anas@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago

okay I’m not American but I definitely ate this one

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

dammit Global Tetrahedron you got me good

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 13 points 3 weeks ago

Someone remind 'em it's only funny when it's satire

[–] krimsonbun@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 3 weeks ago

scariest thing I've seen this Halloween omg. Never ever has a headline made me physically gasp.

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

19th Amendment:

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.

Only about a century old. Let's go for another 100.

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Dammit, those laws allowing virgins to vote!

[–] desktop_user@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 3 weeks ago

a wife could be a virgin, maybe not according to the GOP but there's no reason the wife needs to have sex with the husband

[–] uis@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Basically US can create US LLC and deny to anyone based on anything.

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] uis@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Will say "it is not goverment, so it doesn't count"

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If you are saying they will privatize elections somehow as a loophole around following the constitution, I am skeptical

[–] uis@lemm.ee 1 points 2 weeks ago

No, I mean private company beating everyone who they don't want to see on elections

[–] lazynooblet@lazysoci.al 4 points 3 weeks ago

Whaaaat?!..... Oh okay. Nice.