this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
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I'm not vegan because I give a fuck about animals. I'm vegan because I hate plants.
Green dudes have had it too good for too long.
They are out there lording their massive advantage in cumulative biomass over us. Fucking plants. I can’t wait to eat some tomorrow.
As pointed out above, if you hate plants, you should eat as much meat as possible. Every kilo of meat represents at least ten kilos of plants eaten by the animal.
I don't want another animal taking my Freudian pleasure. The erotic joy of voring a verdant, fleshy succulent. Feeling the crunching snap of brutality as an innocent plant is ground between my glistering molars. The swallow; the mulched, peppery bolus peristalted down a wet, hungry, pulsing oesophegus. The conversion of what was once a marvel of evolution, a being that could harness the power of a living star, into fodder for my next bowel movement. From stoma to stoma.
This is not some cool, by-the-numbers optimisation. This is raw, visceral, hungry cruelty.
The old adage can be given greater, poetic specificity. Revenge is a dish best served cold. And it is a salad.
I tip my hat to you
Fuck plants, all my homies hate plants!
Me playing remnant