The instance seems to be mostly right wing trolls. I know defederating is unpopular but I don't think much is to be lost in this case and it can save the mods some headaches.
Edit: the response on exploding-heads.com to my reporting of transphobia. Courtesy of the "second in command"
Well if the instance defederates then you, as an adult, are free to move instances.
I settled down here, exactly because it only has one blocked instance. The vibes I got when I created my account were "chill place that lets adults curate content themselves". We're free-signup and create our own communities, I doubt the admins here will just go ahead and defederate other instances left and right. I wonder, though, why aren't you on Beehaw? They seem closer to what you're looking for.
Why aren't you on exploding-heads.com? They seem closer to what you are looking for.
The difference is this: I like it here, you don't. So why would I move elsewhere?
I suggest it because you clearly want a hands off approach to moderation which that instance offers.
At that point though again, why don't you just go to a more heavily moderated instance (which there are plenty of) rather than demand heavier moderation on this instance? Also, wanting a more relaxed standpoint on defederation, I can't see him wanting to move to a server that's likely to be heavily defederated by other instances itself.
Sounds like you should move to beehaw
His suggestion is not a bad one. You're clearly after a more heavily moderated experience, that's what Beehaw provides.
Your reply is basically 'if you disagree with me you're a racist', that's not a way to have a conversation of mutual respect. You're not earning any points by attacking people who disagree with you.
Or you can not be an authoritarian fascist and let your users decide for when selves what they want to see. Defederating is a bitch move.