Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world
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I'm member of the no fap community
Please, stop purposely misunderstanding us and keep perpetrating us this pro-porn propaganda. The NoFap community is a MASTURBATION ADDICTION RECOVERY COMMUNITY, not a place where we tell people that masturbating is inherently bad!
Humans have been masturbating since they're on this planet basically, but it has never been a problem until porn on the internet. With all the things you see on mainstream social media of course 13year olds are going to be masturbation addicted, everywhere they go on the internet is either full of borderline soft porn or people claiming that masturbating 10 times a day over some random mysogynistic adult content is fine. Masturbation is healthy, but with limitations and without overstimulating yourself with all this content. You don't even need to access porn sites to find sexually arousing content and most of the times it's one of the kind of contents which companies and mainstream social media profits on because it makes us slaves to the screens
I don't understand why would you even purposely misunderstand the statement that destroying your life with porn and insane masturbation rythms is bad for your psychophysical health. The "90 days" are not a ritual, but the days most of the nofap users needed to actually get rid of the addiction and all its related effects and actually start a recovery journey. Also, we consider having actual sex a GOOD thing. NoFap is not about sexual abstinence, it's about ADDICTION RECOVERY
NoFap saved my life, I would probably still me as miserable as I was in my early teens if I've never discovered that community. You don't understand it because you either haven't tried it or just never been addicted.
You don't know the brain fog, the inability to even speak properly o to even make noarmal logical connections. You don't know the pain of always feeling the urge and feeling sleepy 24/7 and the heart fatigue related to it. NoFap increased my self esteem, my willpower and even fixed my sleeping schedule. Same for other people I know who have found themselves in the same situation
Always remember that a lot of these articles but be financed by porn companies, that's the only explanation. You don't need to be a genius to understand it
EDIT: Y'all are making a big deal over the term "addiction" and not over the issues that it brings
Sounds like porn was a coping mechanism for you, not the root cause.
Yet just removing that fixed everything. If I do it again, the symptoms come back. It's porn, period. Just at least try to listen to our stories and not only to these nonsense articles
"Listen to anecdotes, not science!" said the poster who can't accept that their porn habits might have been a coping mechanism.
Science doesn't say much because all the studies that have been made were like "we take 3 healthy individuals, we make the fap once and then see what happens next". It's that we do not have enough studies in this regard, maybe if science would try to make different cases involved in their studies we would know more
That seems like a symptom of deeper rooted issues, not proof that it’s porn.
You're describing symptoms of depression. Porn addiction is not a thing, stop spreading misinformation.
Bro wants to teach me what I lived in first hand. These things ultimately end up doing the opposite of what you think. You start because of loneliness or boredom and you and up burning down your dopamine receptors.
Because out of nowhere whenever I do it I have brain fog and all but if I don't do it I feel better... Mh that doesn't sound like depression.
Y'all need to get out of nhentai 💀💀💀
EDIT: I would also mention that I started not-masturbating even before discovering the NoFap community and I could still see the benefits. It's worth mentioning so you don't tell me that it's a placebo or something
I think we can agree that your experience was valid and changed your life. The emphasis here is on your life for good reason. Porn and masturbation, like any other escape mechanism, is exactly that. I suspect something underlying as the cause for your need to escape that much. The nofap community there helped you reinforce that change. It does not make the community entirely wholesome.
What I wonder is if you would have had the same results with changes in your life without specifically focussing on porn and masturbation. I have observed this a few times in other areas, where changes to routine and outlook was the actual source of the improvement and not the thing the improvement was attributed to.
Just a thought. It is always good to try and understand yourself. It takes nothing away from your achievement in turning your life around.
I repeat: If I did it, all my energies suddenly disappeared, if I did not, they didn't. It's as simple as that - Just ditching porn out of my life fixed every single problem, literally. Tried to run a little bit after fapping (even a few days after)? Felt too tired and basically died. Tried to run after some days in NoFap? No problem. Same goes for everything mental. I repeat: it is psychophysically draining, much more than you would expect.
Im really active in the NoFap community as a lurker and never seen anything particularly toxic, just people cheering up other people who're facing their same problems. These articles y'all read are obviously in bad faith, because they take a edge case and extend it to a whole category without even showing evidence of toxicity in the community itself, purposely misunderstanding our words to make us look as the villains
The only issue is the NoFap subreddit, which is flooded by trolls, even though they usually get banned after a while. This is why I prefer the official NoFap forum
I would have never reached any of my goals if I didn't stop watching porn and stuff, because it was ditching porn out that made me able to start a recovery journey. I would have probably just surrended to depression induced by my miserable attitude and behaviour
Science should at least try to understand our instances and talk to us, rather than purposely misinterpreting it to make us look as idiots. Of course if you don't study a phenomenon you don't understand it
Thanks for being polite though 💕
If you masturbate without watching porn do your energies disappear?
Yes, but ofc it's even badder with porn
No point in attacking you for something that works for you. Neither of us learns anything under those conditions. Philosophies teaching abstinence in physical pleasures have been around forever. In my mental map of the world, the NoFap community falls under those.
It is something you believe helps you be the person you want to be, more power to you. I would only consider it harmful if it attempts to impose its ideas on people who don't agree. Or deliberately spreads misinformation internally that may be harmful to its adherents.
The thing is that you don't want to listen us
First of all, we've never went in other places of the internet other than our community spaces promoting our ideas, you are the ones always attacking us.
In second hand, it is NOT about pleasure abstinence! We DO NOT claim that masturbation is intrinsically bad, we say that SOMETIMES, for SOME PEOPLE, that MIGHT be an issue which ultimately ends up exacerbating their previous issues, which sometimes even go away by themselves while the compulsory behaviour still remains, generating new issues and more frustration. We literally claim that sex is the best thing you can do to speed up your recovery journey and that after you feel completely free from your addiction (which usually takes 90 days) you can of course masturbate again, just in an healthy and controlled way
Also, we do not spread toxic behaviour and ideas which might harm our adherents. If you're not able to distinguish things from the contextes in which they are located it's neither our fault or our responsibility. It is not misinformation
"BuT 13YeAr OlDs oN ThE InTerNeT miGhT be seeInG yOuR ConTenT wiThOuT UndErStanDing iT"
So you're more afraid of an addiction recovery community, where people just cheer up each other into getting a new grip on life but not of all the softcore porn, the social media propaganda and echo chambers, cyberbullying and all the bad things traditional social media might create in the heads of you children, destroying their self confidence because they don't feel enough rich, skinny, or muscular, or who just don't fit our societal beauty archetype? C'mon, 10year olds shouldn't be even destroying their dopamine receptors on Instagram or TikTok in first place.
What the fuck
Facts, what all these people do not want to hear bro
Well whatever you may have personally gained from it, that doesn't change the fact that it has an awful lot of members who are both far-right and pushing embarrassingly bad pesudo-science.
I've never noticed a particularly far-right bend to things, but there is some aspect of self control, temperence, and stoic resolve around it. If those are the parts that you refer to the alternative, unabashed capitulation to whim and fancy are typically very self destructive traits.
Nope, I'm talking the people who hate minorities and want them systemically murdered, in no way resembling your self-aggrandising comment.
The ones who throw constant tantrums about the opinions hypothetical strangers hold about their own genitals and are not at all stoic. The ones who do mass and impulse shootings and are not at all examples of self control.
If you haven't noticed it, you can't be looking very hard since it's literally part of becoming a Proud Boy.
People can decide for themselves if you've genuinely never noticed or if you're simply doing PR for a movement that grooms young men for extremism.
I know my call.
Unironically saying big porn propaganda.
You can't be anti porn and say masturbating isn't inherently bad in the same comment lol. Real lack of self awareness buddy.
You can masturbate without porn. You're being dense.
You have the understanding of a child and debate like one.