this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2024
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[–] Sop@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Think about how you feel when getting misgendered or when people don’t accept you being trans. Imagine how it feels for someone who doesn’t fit into the gender binary and has neopronouns to be told that their gender expression sets ‘a bad example’ for the rest of the trans community. If you want to ‘represent trans people’, then as a fellow trans person I’ll say you’re doing a bad job.

[–] millie@beehaw.org 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Do you think this is the one thing that there are no bot-farm trolls injecting disinformation about?

[–] ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

So what if there are? Lets say there were bot farms out there actively portraying binary trans folk in a way that makes us look like awful trolls that are just making things up. Does that make it ok for folk to start misgendering binary trans folk? Does it make it ok to act as if our pronouns are something that we only receive for good behaviour? Does it stop it from hurting when people actively and deliberately choose to use the wrong pronouns for us?

You know the answer to all of those questions, so you need to ask yourself why you're ok with it when it happens to gender diverse folk who don't share your experience/identity. I'm going to guess that the answer is because you think that behaving well, creating less fuss, and being a good little trans person will make the bigots less bigoted towards us. And you think that the neopronoun users are making things worse for us. And that's just blatantly incorrect. People are transphobic because they're taught to be transphobic. They find reasons after the fact to validate their bigotry, so that they don't have to feel like they're the bad guy in their own story. And because that validation comes after the bigotry, it literally doesn't matter what we do, the people who have been taught to hate us will find something that validates that hatred. You playing nice doesn't fix it, all it does is make it worse for folk who don't fit in to the same box you and I fit in to.