this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2023
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Wait, what happened?
From what I can tell, a stupid thread made by a confused cis straight person who was talking about why he wouldn't have sex with a trans man. Then some transphobes showed up and were banned.
This instance is a safe space for sexual and gender minorities. If cis people want to talk about their sexual preferences with regards to trans people, there are a million and one other instances to do so in. This space is not the place to do so. It should go without saying that nothing that could even be perceived as mildly insensitive towards trans people should be tolerated here. This instance should be one place we can frequent without ever having to deal with any kind of cis and straight nonsense.
I think it's totally legit to say you're not attracted to a particular body configuration. It wasn't OP that bothered me, it was all the turdbuckets who showed up to pilot on.
I think it's fine to have sexual preferences, but it's a bit weird to post about it, especially in a space heavily occupied by trans people. It would be like a white person going into a space, made for and occupied by black people, and talking about how they'd never want to have sex with a black person.
While the base point is fine, it raises the hackles because of the manner in which it's put forward and the context.
It bothered other people, and its just not the place to have that discussion. Like I said, this instance is a safe space for sexual and gender minorities. That's the intent of the admins of lemmy.blahaj.zone. And its the reason I chose to join here. There are other spaces on lemmy for cis people to talk all about all the different ways they do or do not want to have sex with or date trans people.
It's like if you see a random post with any kind of person in it, then proceed to explain why you would or would not fuck them. Completely unnecessary.
Was the OP a blahaj account, or someone from a different instance?
Does it matter? As long as you're not harassing or hateful towards people and you grant them their freedom to exist as they want, there is nothing wrong with having a preference.
Cis people have every other fucking space in the world. This one is meant to be safe for gender minorities. Cis people can go to any of the other instances on lemmy and talk all about their preferences with regards to trans people.
A member of the community specifically asked for his opinion.
Nobody is asking for your opinion but you keep butting in with concern trolling even after people explain the issue to you. Fuck off dude
You don't understand what concern trolling. I'm not concerned about anything. I disagree that the initial comment was transphobic. Quit making shit up to be mad about.
That doesn't change literally anything. No one on this instance should be encouraging that, and it should be removed when and where it comes up. Again, this isn't just any instance its one meant to be safe for us specifically. I don't care who brought it up, cis people discussing their sexual preferences towards trans people can do so on any of the other instances that are not safe spaces for us.
Then stop inviting cis opinions into your community. People asked do he answered. It's that simple.
I never did invite cis people to talk about their sexual preferences here, trans people are not a hive mind 🙃 its also not my community, the two women who do own and run it have said outright this is a safe space for us.
Both the post and specific comment in question were the result of members of the community inviting the opinion of straight people.
Talk to the admins and mods🤷♀️
Did you... read the post that we're presently commenting on?
Yes. What's your point? The author of this post agrees that the comment in question wasn't transphobic.
Read it again. I never said the straight person was being transphobic. I said this is not the community for that. The admins agree.
I get sexualized and fetishized by cisgender men and women literally everywhere I go. Every space, every community, every platform. It's never ending and I cannot fucking tell you how many times in my life I've had to deal with reading random unprompted opinions about how fuckable or unfuckable I am. This is not the space. This is not the community for it. Are you trans? Are you a gender minority? Do you have any frame of reference for what this is like for us?
It's an open forum, and clearly some members of the community disagree since they are inviting opinions. Your options is to convince the admins to only federate with lgbt instances, or to make your own. Or maybe the mods can do that country club only type posts like in some reddit communities.
The community is not simply an open forum, it is made by and for gender minorities. This isn't something the admins are taking votes on. The opinion of the admins is that this is a safe space for trans people.
And I'm not interested in compromises. Again, you have no frame of reference for what this is like. In all due respect, you're talking to trans people about things you do not understand as though you do in any way understand them. You also have like 6 different comment threads going on all with trans people in this community who also expect this community to be correctly moderated to fit the standards of a safe space for trans people. So you've accused me a couple times of thinking the OP of the other thread was being transphobic. I havent said that. I said that this is a safe space for trans people and if people want to talk about how fuckable or unfuckable trans people are they can do it elsewhere. I don't care who started it, this isn't the place for it.
It is an open forum. When members of the community invite the opinions of straight people, they are able to see that and respond. It's up to the admins and moderators to lock that down.